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*CLOSED* COMPETITION | Win A Copy Of The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition

Matt Gardner
CD Projekt, CD Projekt RED, Competitions, Namco Bandai, RPGs, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings Enhanced Edition
The Witcher 2

*CLOSED* COMPETITION | Win A Copy Of The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition

We'll hold our hands up on this one, we may have been a bit late with closing the last competition. So, to say sorry to our faithful community, here's a new competition...and we think it's a bit better than the last one.

The game up for grabs this time is an Xbox 360 copy of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Enhanced Edition. We just gave it full marks in our review, and frankly if you have even a remote, passing interest in RPGs, you'll want to give it a go.

All you have to do to enter is drop us a line in the comments and complete the following sentence:

The best way to assassinate a king is...

Easy peasy. We'll cast some votes on the most ingenious, most outlandish, most innovative, and most hilarious entries...and then we'll probably toss them all in a hat, or roll a twelve-sided die, or ask a robot. Maybe. Whichever way it goes, admin's decision is final.

In the meantime, read our glowing words on the game in our Witcher 2 Enhanced Edition review.

NB. Please use a legit email address when you enter, or we won't be able to confirm your victory should you prevail.

  • NO multiple entries.
  • UK entrants only.

Competition closes Friday 20th at 6pm.

Add a comment54 comments
NT80  Apr. 16, 2012 at 18:15

The best way to assassinate a king is give him lots of cheese burgers.

lordselsig  Apr. 16, 2012 at 18:18

The best way to assassinate a king is to slowly gain his trust and invite him to your birthday party at the local rugby club and while his is getting his groove on you would sneak back to the castle, fill a whoopee cushion with some really poisonous gas and place it on the throne, underneath the pillow he uses because the throne is always cold. When he sits on the throne the gas is released and kills him (and the two guards either side of him), If that fails then I let a honey badger in there to finish him off.

Last edited by lordselsig, Apr. 16, 2012 at 18:27
StolenDiagram  Apr. 16, 2012 at 18:49

The best way to assassinate a king is to take an example from our country's royal family and have our current reigning monarch refuse to abdicate, despite being almost a century old. Once she eventually does die or abdicate, her first son who will become king will be THAT old himself, that all one needs to do is to sneeze or cough in his general vicinity and the resulting illness will most likely finish him off.

Peterdj41  Apr. 16, 2012 at 19:12

The best way to assassinate a king is.... with an arrow to the knee/oops wrong game :(

darkmark1987  Apr. 16, 2012 at 19:27

The best way to assassinate a king is to make sure that they know its coming, get them soo paranoid with attempts on their life that have only slight success but enough to freak him out, which drives him crazy, lock himself up, away from society and the madness eats away at them slowly so they end it themselves instead of waiting...

Arcturass  Apr. 16, 2012 at 19:35

The best way to assassinate a king is poison his chocolate biscuits!

Arcturass  Apr. 16, 2012 at 19:36

The best way to assassinate a king is to poison his chocolate biscuits!

terrabad  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:02

Spend hours and hours killing boars in the forest until you attain a high enough level to take on the King. March triumphantly to the Palace singing songs of victory, carve your way through the guards, ever onward, until you reach the throne room.
If you want to draw your sword read on to paragraph 2.
If you want to use your magic to cast fireball read on to paragraph 3.
If you want to run away start again at the beginning of this paragraph.
If you have already tried to beat the King at least 10 times, are at the end of your tether and have tried multiple different strategies read on to paragraph 4.

Paragraph 2
Draw your sword and... die an lose all your equipment and have to start again.

Paragraph 3
Cast fireball and... your spell ricochets off the King's mighty magical shield. You crumble to ash. Lose all your equipment and start again.

Paragraph 4
You cannot beat the King. Roll a die. 1-5 You give up and go home 6 Read on to paragraph 5

Paragraph 5
You realise the King's weakness is love. Cast expelliamus, win the fight, save the day, go home, have kids,grow up and feel vaguely cheated by this ending in a manner you cannot entirely fathom or explain. You spend your evenings trolling bargain hunting threads on the internet with a vague idea that with every person who wakes up at 4am to check Amazon or drives 200 miles to collect a non existent Argos reservation you have somehow attained a measure of retribution.

Megsimadic  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:12

The best way to assassinate a king is to become his Queen.

lame  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:13

The best way to assassinate a king is by making him ring a bell that wakes up the bird that lays an egg that rolls down a chute onto a moustrap that springs shut on a tube of toothpaste that squirts onto one end of a set of scales that knocks a precariously balanced watermelon onto a seesaw that launches a bowling pin into a basket that sits on a piston that activates a mechanical arm that clobbers the king in the head with a hammer.

Gr3atdane  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:23

The best way to assassinate a king is... to bludgeon him to death with the dealspwn server.

Quietus  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:26

The best way to assassinate a king is to have a duck-billed platypus stab him with a jelly spork while wearing clogs and a toupee, and muttering incoherently about juniper bushes.

deanthomasclarke  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:39

The best way to assassinate a king is to gain the trust of the people of the land and eventually meet their Queen, invite her to a formal lunch and seduce her. Then when she realises she is pregnant she will be forced by the people to marry me or become branded a '****' which means I become the King. I then invite all the people to my crowning and get really, really drunk. Now I am drunk I claim that I can fly and jump off the roof of the castle I now reside in, falling to my death, SUICIDE!! The people never saw it coming.

The_Biscuit  Apr. 16, 2012 at 20:41

The best way to assassinate a king is... Is to shout the word "Checkmate".

I like to keep my plots simple.

RossioB  Apr. 16, 2012 at 21:06

Let loose a Monkey with a stick. That should do the job

SRowlands73  Apr. 16, 2012 at 21:10

The best way to assassinate 'the' king is...

...to sing 'Love Me Tender' really badly at Karaoke !

(Trust me, I know !!)

stevenjameshyde  Apr. 16, 2012 at 21:24

The best way to assassinate a king is to run a seemingly innocuous competition on a popular gaming website asking for king-assassinating methods, then reporting all who enter to the authorities as the treasonous curs that they are. With the competitors out of the way, steal the best idea for yourselves

Blacklodge  Apr. 16, 2012 at 21:57

The best way to assassinate a king is of course to break its legs off in a similar manner to that of a lion from out of Far Cry 2.

Zeipher  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:01

The best way to assassinate a king is with Altair and Ezio as backup. Or, of course, a hulked out Witcher wielding a freezing potion and a butter knife!

sk82jack  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:09

The best way to assassinate a king is...Pikachu, I choose you!

tony888  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:19

The best way to assassinate a king is gain his as a personal chef and slowly minipulate his fellow companions and people against him. I will deliberately cook his food that will eventually give him diarrhea where he will stabbed in the back by with his very own sword resulting me claiming his throne.

Shained  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:34

The best way to assassinate a king is to get him a season ticket to Liverpool this season. The amount of bore draws would send him to suicide!

birdyboyuk  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:37

Best way to assassinate a king? Put some blackbirds in his pie...but make sure they don't sing when the pie is open...

sebtiger  Apr. 16, 2012 at 22:49

The best way to assassinate is king is through years of whispering to them in there sleep, messages along the lines of "I should start a burger chain"

sallan2000  Apr. 17, 2012 at 06:47

The best way to assassinate a king is with a peasants sword! Regicide FTW!


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