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**CLOSED** COMPETITION | Win DEAD RISING 3! [Xbox One]

Author:
Jonathan Lester
Category:
Dealspwn
Tags:
Capcom, Competitions, Xbox One, Xbox One Games

**CLOSED** COMPETITION | Win DEAD RISING 3! [Xbox One]

It's an age-old story.

Boy preorders Dead Rising 3 from cheap yet unreliable retailer. Microsoft sends boy a review copy. Boy forgets all about the preorder in the holiday season crunch, which then eventually arrives too close to Christmas to do anything about.

A classic tale, but it's going to have a happy ending for one of you lucky people. See, the boy in question is me... and I'm going to give away the sealed retail copy of Dead Rising 3!

**CLOSED** COMPETITION | Win DEAD RISING 3! [Xbox One]

Just in case you don't know, Dead Rising 3 is probably the most enjoyable new-gen launch title available for either system, translating the Xbox One's horsepower directly into outrageous shenanigans and insane numbers of zombies to put down with hundreds of sadistic combo weapons. "It's the essential Xbox One launch title: a rampant, ridiculous and riotous sandbox that delivers countless hours of unapologetic unrestrained fun," I wrote in our Editor's Choice review. "Rather than a pristine graphical showcase, it's a bountiful content-rich slaughter smorgasbord that encourages us to get our hands dirty in obscenely silly ways."

"Despite a handful of annoyances, Dead Rising 3 absolutely brings the fun to the new console generation."

So to be in with a chance of winning, we invite you to channel your inner MacGyver. Drop us a line in the comments box below and explain what outrageous weapon you'd cobble together out of common household/workplace objects to fight off a zombie invasion! The winner will be picked in terms of imagination, humour, originality and lethality.

The winner will be chosen at our discretion or randomly if it's too close to call. Be creative! Competition closes Monday 13th January at 17:00. Postage and delivery will be organised via the email address associated with your Dealspwn account, so please ensure that it's correct! UK entrants only.

This competition is now closed. Thanks to everyone who took part!

***

UPDATE: Congratulations to Raasclark and the 'Beast About To Strike!'

"Finally! I get to use my two copies of MJ's 'Thriller' Album on vinyl(One's an unwanted present) and super glue each one to my two angle grinder discs, then duct taping each killer double disc to either end of my washing line pole, the middle of said pole being welded onto my hammer drill, which would be attached to the top of my motorcycle helmet."

"Not forgetting that I would attach speakers to the sides of my helmet, which would feed to the heads of my two vinyl players, glued onto the angle grinder discs, playing Micheal Jackson's zombie loving tune, in turn attracting the hordes, and slicing their much useless brains clean from their heads as my 'beast about to strike' screams out "Thriller!"."

Add a comment63 comments
Vortal  Jan. 6, 2014 at 18:38

I would have to combine 'wooden corners' and 'lego bricks'.
Litter the corners around, snubbing your toe has to hurt zombies as well - right? And then in any left areas scatter lego blocks -- guaranteed no zombies could get though ..... unless it is a smart zombie then it would probably make lego shoes from the pieces then I would be screwed .....

Quietus  Jan. 6, 2014 at 18:40

I'd take a water butt, a hose, and a bunch of human brains. I'd fill the water butt with diet coke, ram the hose down their throats, and fill 'em up. I'd them stuff Mentos (or our equivalent) into the human brains, and watch them all explode in geyser-like fountains of urban legend as they chow down.8)

raph65536  Jan. 6, 2014 at 18:47

I would combine an iPhone with a toothpick. The iPhone will have all the apps I need: searching for nearest safehouses, finding other survivors, and it will be durable enough for me to use it as a C4. And guess what, I will still be able to use it as normal, because there is an app for it!

As for the toothpick, it will be used for picking off the zombie meat in my teeth (after consuming them, bwahahahaha!)

dklunan  Jan. 6, 2014 at 18:48

Items needed :
Xbox One (with Kinect)
Remote controlled helicopter
Set of knives and other kitchen utensils

I'd use my leet skills to jury rig the kinect to recognise voice commands to control my remote controlled helicopter with assorted knives, wooden spoons and plastic spatulas sellotaped to the rotors.

Then I'd sit with my feet up raining death from above on the brainless masses.

The only possible problem might be kinect recognising my Scottish accent - stupid thing only recognises "Xbox on" half the time so "Xbox Search and Destroy" might be a stretch :-(

Last edited by dklunan, Jan. 6, 2014 at 18:49
Blacklodge  Jan. 6, 2014 at 20:37

High speed drill, Greater Manchester phone book with each page starched, industrial snow blower full of salt and Old Spice aftershave, and Groucho Specs and Lederhosen.

Drill delivers 3000rpm x 1600pages = 4,800,000 papercuts per minute, at the same time as snow blower fires salt and old man stink into the wounds. Groucho Specs and Lederhosen - just because everyone looks cool in Groucho Specs and Lederhosen...

donttouchthehair  Jan. 6, 2014 at 20:56

I would combine a 'Helium Pump' with a 'Kite'.

The pump would inflate the zombie to float in the sky and the kite would allow you to either use the zombies (in a bunch) in a loving homage to 'Up' to float to higher places, or you could individually use them as Ben Franklin style lightning rods and just watch them explode in an electrified shower of toasty giblets.

I would call it..

'The Dead Rising'. :3

kathcake12  Jan. 6, 2014 at 22:49

a saw, knife, hammer, fork, can opener combo it will create quite a whack

prwilson  Jan. 6, 2014 at 22:57

I get an umbrella and attach the shaft to a drill, then I'd attach sharp knives to the arms of the umbrella to create a whirling zombie decapitator.

Ashashp  Jan. 6, 2014 at 23:05

I would combine a rubber duck with a petrol can to make a Duckzilla Flamethrower! Stay safe in a zombie apocolypse even when in the tub!

Monkeyfeesh  Jan. 6, 2014 at 23:06

I would combine a giant corkscrew with a pneumatic drill, which you would drill into the zombies heads with, pulling their brains out stuck to the corkscrew as it rotated as you pushed it in and then pulled it out. If it was a really long corkscrew you could skewer multiple zombie brains at once for a zombie kebab combo ;)

katant  Jan. 6, 2014 at 23:31

I would find one of the elusive gold zombie eating flamedeer from hotukdeals and starve it for a week or two, name it Flossie. Once Flossie is suitably hungry i would buy a leaf blower and fill it with nails and we would skip through the town just the two of us taking down the zombies and feasting on their remains, take that brain suckers!

Anarchist  Jan. 7, 2014 at 00:39

I'd have to rely on old faithful, And combine....

A snooker ball and a sock. To make an erm, snooker ball in a sock...

pete79  Jan. 7, 2014 at 05:58

If I was at work, I'd kit out my wheelie chair with office stuff to make it a moveable weapon. On one arm would be an industrial stapler, firing staples out stopping the zombie menace. On the other would be a laminator - you can't be eaten if you've laminated a zombies head now can you!

Raasclark  Jan. 7, 2014 at 15:15

Finally! I get to use my two copies of MJ's 'Thriller' Album on vinyl(One's an unwanted present) and super glue each one to my two angle grinder discs, then duct taping each killer double disc to either end of my washing line pole, the middle of said pole being welded onto my hammer drill, which would be attached to the top of my motorcycle helmet. Not forgetting that I would attach speakers to the sides of my helmet, which would feed to the heads of my two vinyl players, glued onto the angle grinder discs, playing Micheal Jackson's zombie loving tune, in turn attracting the hordes, and slicing their much useless brains clean from their heads as my 'beast about to strike' screams out "Thriller!".

Gbear0382  Jan. 7, 2014 at 18:59

We've got an old laptop lying around which would be perfect for using like a crocodile's jaws to repeatedly clamp around the victim's head!

Once they've become incapacitated, finish them off with death by daytime television.

SmellyMelly  Jan. 7, 2014 at 19:06

I'd combine a Rampant Rabbit with an industrial hand-blender (or road drill if I'm feeling really gruesome), then tune in a TV to HBO and let the zombies grind themselves to bits.
Who needs Game of Thrones when you can have the Red Deading?

chrin  Jan. 7, 2014 at 20:38

neede:

3 fish slices with the ends cut off leaving the prongs
3 x battery operated lighter for the gas cooker
electric whisk
blender
couple of rolling pins
meat cleaver
meat tenderising hammer
long handled mop or broom

the gas lighters would operate the whisk and blender to cut bits off the zombies and puree them.
the fish slices would be placed prongs bent upwards on the floor to impale their feet and keep them in one place.
the rolling pins and meat tenderising hammer would be attached to a long hamdled mop and used to bash the zombies and the meat cleaver would be tied to the other end of the broom to chop off the zombies heads

result:
me 156
zombies 0

I WIN yay

Nicko12345  Jan. 7, 2014 at 23:53

I would simple place a Michael Buble album into the CD player. It would send them running for cover!

Yukes  Jan. 8, 2014 at 09:04

I'd grab a common plant pot, fill it with some compost and insanely plant some seeds. Repeat, place one in the front garden and the other in the back garden and pray for some sunshine.

There's no swimming pool and my chimneys are blocked so no way down there, so making anything else would be CRRRRRAAAAZY!

liquorice13  Jan. 8, 2014 at 14:06

Our central heating system (or lack of it). It's so cold in our office, they would freeze within minutes, that's if they survive meeting the Boss!

SandyPort  Jan. 8, 2014 at 15:29

Sticky Teddy Bear Bomb
Teddy Bear + Jam + Deoderant Can and a Lighter

Throw the Jam covered Teddy Bear which sticks which has the deoderant can already on fire stuck up it's innards.

Then after a couple seconds if explodes.

cheryl100  Jan. 8, 2014 at 19:34

I would attach my epilator to a handbrush and attack...they will have never have felt pain like it!

jezzeruk  Jan. 9, 2014 at 07:42

Id dismantle my standard lamp which unscrews into 6 steel hollow rods

Meanwhile id have several dvd cases melting down , from such awful films my ex left behind like sex and the city 2 , and mama mia.

These could be glued to the swing down hatch of my loft, so when entering my flat this swings down to impale eyes and skulls. Obviously id be hidden in my loft,hopefully playing dead rising 3

Failing that, i could put sex and the city 2 on in my flat and leave the left over bountys from my celebrations tin, coz nobody likes them

Late  Jan. 9, 2014 at 10:18

I call dibs on jezzeruk's left-over bountys!
Even if it means I need to be zombified to get them.

Oh. He's put Sex in the City 2 on. Damnit. Never mind. I don't mind being killed, eviscerated, and fated to roam the world in a post-apocalyptic wasteland (have you ever seen Middlesbrough? Post-apocalyptic might be considered a step up) but there's some things I just won't do, not even for chocolate-covered coconut.

BaronGazz  Jan. 9, 2014 at 10:19

Baby Harness + Car Battery + Wellington Boots x Number of Survivors in Group = Kabaddinator

Arming each member of your current entourage with the Kabaddinator chains them together like a moving electric fence. The constant chants of 'kabaddi' by the player at home, across Kinect, helps to lure zombies towards this wall of death. Weapon breaks when the player has to pause for breath.

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