I'm kind of all typed out today, having just spent hours... actually, that's a lie, all I was doing was playing FIFA 11 all day, then Football Manager. Oh, and I was watching some Stewart Lee clips on YouTube, inspiring this truth-telling introduction slightly. But the last thing I really wanted to do was write about some browser-based games involving inflatable penises or whatever crazy character I was being asked to control with the arrow keys this time.
But you know, a faint veneer of professionalism needs to be shown so... WAHEY! Free games are great! How's about we discuss one right now? Yeah!
I originally read this as Divas Mortis when in fact it's Divis Mortis, which isn't a game about the death of Naomi Campbell and Beyonce Knowles. Sadly. What it is is a text adventure about grim, horrible things. So I guess it kind of is like those two.
It reminds me of a text version of a rubbish adventure game I played a long time ago, the name of which escapes me. It's post-apocalypse time, lots of dead people around, you're in a hospital and have to figure out how you got smacked over the head with a pipe and left for dead.
Zombies and nasty things will attack you (in text form) and so will your own body via the medium of hunger. Whether eating corpses like I tried to do quenches your hunger is unknown, but at least the game lets you do it. It doesn't let you drink the blood, though.
Other than that, it's a text adventure. For what it is, it's compelling enough, certainly more so than the vast majority of them, even if you want to see just how you can be killed. Or read just how you can be killed, because there are no pictures, so you can't actually 'see' and... you get the picture. Or not. Argh!
It's been E3 recently, so not much of interest has come out in the freeware world. In fact, barely anything has come out. Stuff has come out, but not interesting stuff, so instead of something I actually want to play, it's my duty to bring your attention to something that's... borrowed Minecraft's ideas a bit, namely King Arthur's Gold.
It's only a 6 megabyte download, so it's not hard to give it a go. It's a multiplayer affair, where you're given the task of collecting more gold than the other team. Using the now-traditional WASD keys to move and the Enter key to chat to your allies.
There's a surprising amount of sophistication here, like how you can commit suicide or loot the bodies of the fallen. Players can choose to be knights, archers or builders, each of which has a number of abilities that can be brought into play for the good of the unit.
Archers can fire arrows, naturally, but they also whittle their own arrows from wood produced by builders chopping down trees. These guys can also dig for stone and, more importantly, gold. This needs to be placed in the team's tent, where it can be placed into sacks and then hidden from the enemy.
Knights are the ones who go out a-clobberin' and a-stealin'. Vulnerable to archers but deadly up close, they're only good for combat.
Is it any good? If you get a good match going, yeah, it's not too bad. Not my thing, but in times of drought, even someone who doesn't want to play games like this is forced to. It's following in the footsteps of that Terraria thing you can find on Steam too. Which I also don't want to play. But it's got that Minecraft approach so doubtless you'll love it. Give it a go using this link.
There's really nothing else left that caught my eye, but hopefully this will change next week after the whole E3 has been forgotten about and indie kids can start releasing games again. Until then, dear reader.