We're liberal folks here at Dealspwn and can handle even the most sensitive of topics with calm, balanced comment. So when a “lesbian dating sim with BDSM elements” plopped through our browser's mailbox and positively screamed to be played (possibly after being whipped or tortured into doing so) we knew that making cheap jokes about leather or chains would be right out.
But what exactly is an S&M date? The Case of the Vanishing Entree aims to explore this concept via the medium of text and via a website with the words “Encyclopedia Fuckme” on it. So, yeah, if your boss can't handle something with “filthy nasty dirty stuff” in it, you might not want to gather round the co-workers for a quick blast (as it were).
One thing first – she, one Ms. Anna Anthropy, uses the word “fucking” a lot. Far too much, in fact. I get that it's meant to be 'gritty', 'the language of reality' and so on, but it's gratuitous here. Too much and it loses its impact.
Anyway, you've got a date and it's got a lot of potential, but things don't necessarily go to plan. Playing out like a Choose Your Own Adventure story, you'll generally have two options to select to see what happens.
Once you get into it, you'll want to see what happens at the end (whichever one you get) but there are some issues with the consequences of your choices. Although discussing them would ruin the story. Hmm, right, let's just say that if you used on someone's then it would have a lot more impact and not allow them to then you.
Anyway, if you fancy a bit of extreme bondage, tie yourself to this URL as soon as you can.
Let us move on then from the world of curious sexual exploration and to the more seemly area of doodling on lined paper. Sketch Quest is the latest in the growing genre of draw-'em-ups to spew forth from various areas of the industry, this time taking its place on the frontlines of Kongregate.
This one's an action-platformer where you get to draw your weapons, attire, things like that as you progress. There are also 'secret' bits where you can just draw what you want. When you are presented with the opportunity to draw a new weapon, you get a template to follow, but the nice thing is you can be a bit creative, should you wish to be.
For example, if you're given a sword to draw, why not add some cruel barbs or just go off on a really strange tangent by making it look like a big dildo or something? Damn that Entree game, it's infected my mind with naughtiness.
You can even draw the enemies that you face, sometimes, naturally leading to some bizarre creations lurching towards you on deformed stumps. There's a lot of scope to beef up the relatively prosaic platforming action with a whole host of different ideas and creations, which is naturally brilliant.
It's well worth a go just to see what strange concoctions you can draw up, and it's a reasonable platform game to boot. You can play it over at Kongregate now.
But if you get tired actually having to jump onto platforms yourself, why not delegate the responsibility to mindless underlings in Running Men? In this Lemmings-like affair, you take control of the head of some institute, who needs to manipulate machinery in order to lead his test subjects to the exit in safety.
If they did, don't worry as another one will be along straight away, and it just means there's one less wage to pay out at the end of the month. If you do manage to avoid unnecessary deaths, you can get your name put up in lights on the leaderboards though.
Your main tool is the bouncing block, which can be slid around to allow your lemming to leap to either oblivion or safety. One problem seems to be that it's easy to miss a click on the levels that require a lot of precise block movement, which can be frustrating.
It also starts getting quite tough early on, and a lot of the blocks you can move turn out to be red herrings, so the puzzles can sometimes require a reasonable amount of trial and error to solve.
But a challenge isn't necessarily a bad thing, as it'll at least provide a few moments of head-scratching before the “Ah, that's how you do it” moment provides a pleasure kick.
The worst thing, though, is that there's no reference to Arnold's stellar 80s Action flick. A few men in lightning suits or Jesse Ventura fitness videos (was that Running Man or Total Recall?) would have been very welcome indeed.