Ubisoft decided to distract us from the L.A. Theatre's crippling, inhumane legroom by displaying some trivia questions related to their E3 lineup. Assassin's Creed, Shootmania, Rayman... Beyond Good & Evil? Could Jade and Peyj be making their eternally-delayed official return today? Were we reading too much into a pop quiz? Why can't I feel my legs?!
Well, it turns out that we were letting our paranoia run away with us, but Ubisoft still had an impressive show lined up.
Despite not beings the live Mr. Caffeine crucifixion of our wildest dreams, Ubi's presser started on familiar turf with (yet) another Just Dance. Dutifully, we put our hands up, and we quickly got the idea. Dancing. Motion control. Okay then.
Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity? Not being psyched for Far Cry 3. The classic open world carnage formula is being updated with an aggressive new focus, man-eating tigers, epic takedowns and genuine personality. And titties, apparently. Yes indeed.
Ooh, more Splinter Cell: Blacklist. Though the beans were thoroughly spilled at the Microsoft briefing, we got an extra trailer for our troubles.
Avengers: BFE on Wii U? Sounds about right. Ubisoft always hop on new platforms, but our attention was soon thoroughly stolen by Rayman Legends. Tablet users will get an extra character who uses the touchscreen, will he overpower the experience? So long as there are awesome rock&roll grannies, I doubt anyone will care.
And an M-rated zombie shooter set in England is bound to make for a seriously atypical Nintendo launch title. Interestingly, it's a revamp of Ubisoft's first-ever videogame, ZombiU. Flanked by some more big names, Ubisoft are making a major play for the Wii U.
Assassin's Creed 3 looks great... but why isn't anyone just shooting Connor with their, you know, gun? It will be interesting to see how well firearms are implemented into the gameplay, and whether Ubi's treatment of the British is as hilariously one-dimensional as it appears. According to the dev team, it's going to be more complex than evil cockneys flogging downtrodden commoners, and an enormous Mecha King George laying waste to Boston with a gigantic tea cannon.
I proceeded to fall into a relaxing slumber as Shootmania was overshadowed by some horrible banter and an unnecessary competiton showcasing a thoroughly boring gametype. Thanks for showing off the creation mechanics... not.
ctOS/Watch Dogs was a big surprise, though we expected it to play a bit like a cross between Sim City and Uplink. Instead, it appears to be a third person shooter with some cool skills, which could work. I can't help but feel that the unique setup is already being wasted, though.