What's Next, Ewoks?
As you might have gathered from Matt's GamesCom preview for Star Wars Kinect, we're not exactly giddy with excitement for this one. Between the shoddy Kinect integration and wholesale dilution of the Star Wars brand in recent years, it's simply a depressing state of affairs you're forced to turn a blind eye to. And we've more bad news on Star Wars Kinect, although it's not exactly surprising considering Kinect's family appeal, but not only will you be swinging an unresponsive lightsaber and directing a wayward Rancor, but you'll also be "gyrating your hips/buttocks" in the newfangled "dancing mini-game".
"In the dancing mini-game, some female characters perform suggestive moves (e.g., gyrating their hips/buttocks) and wear revealing outfits (partially exposed cleavage/buttocks)," reads ESRB's report on Star Wars Kinect, which they officially awarded a 'Teen' rating. Worried parents, avert your eras, as the words "damn" and "hell" can invariably be heard in the dialogue.
Along with the aforementioned "dancing mini-game", which will ostensibly be part of a mass dance tournament, you'll also participate in pod races and Jedi duels, as well as the already revealed Rancor battle, where you'll hear "cries of pain and crunching sounds", which are sure to either terrify or terrifyingly alter your children in to mindless violent drones. Or something.
Star Wars Kinect was pushed back to 2012 earlier this year for "further polish", which was honestly the best news we'd heard on the game since its announcement. We'll reserve our final judgement for the game itself, but needless to say, we sense a disturbance in the... ah, forget it. [ESRB]