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Game of the Month | September 2013

Matt Gardner
Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, Game of the Month, GTA V, Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut, Outlast, Puppeteer, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor - Soul Hackers, Total War: Rome II

Game of the Month | September 2013

Whatever you may have thought of it, September was only ever really going to be dominated by one game. The hype train for GTA V was a roaring locomotive that, as expected, has crushed all in its path. But there were some other games that emerged in September too. Sony Japan's striking platformer Puppeteer won us over emphatically, in turned out that Diablo III was better as a console game after all, indie gems such as MirrorMoon EP and Lone Survivor: Director's Cut proved that you don't need a massive budget to work wonders.

Honourable mentions also go out to The Creative Assembly, who crafted a gargantuan grand strategy experience that surely would have been in  with a shout had it not been so terribly buggy; the re-emergence of Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner - Soul Hackers as the 16-year cult classic hit the 3DS; Daedalic dropped probably their best adventure game yet in Memoria; and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs emerged to freak us out along with Outlast.

As per usual, we've got a couple of runners-up before we hit the big one...


Game of the Month | September 2013

Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut -- The PlayStation Cross-Buy re-release of Jasper Byrne's Lone Survivor allows a new audience to experience this sensational survival horror masterclass. Short yet perfectly formed, chilling, surreal, thought-provoking and replayable, Lone Survivor proves that the genre is safe in independent hands. Though we're spoiled for choice by the likes of Outlast and Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, Lone Survivor is still as sharp, harrowing and clever as it ever was, and deserves to be met with open arms by a brand new audience. You lucky, lucky people. -- 8/10

Game of the Month | September 2013

Puppeteer -- In any other month, Puppeteer might well have won. Sony Japan's deliciously dark fable is a masterpiece of craftsmanship, particularly when it comes to the striking visual design. The script could perhaps have done with a little more editing, and there are a few little pacing issues along the way, but Kutaro's journey is an utterly charming and gloriously imaginative affair, framed in superlative fashion. -- 8/10


Grand Theft Auto V -- It couldn't have been anything else. Rockstar put on a technical masterclass to deliver the most visually stunning game we've seen. Their world-building is exceptional; it always has been. But here, with Los Santos and Blaine County, they've elevated their game to another level. The enormous world that they've created in a technical masterpiece, almost impossibly detailed, with everything in its right place.

Whether you're watching the sun rise sat in a convertible you just swiped below the Vinewood sign, or sneaking into the airport so you can steal a jet, or bumping off corporate goons to shift the stock market in your favour, or base jumping off a mountain, GTA V will delight and dazzle long after its inconsistent script has been left behind, even if its ambitions promise extravagances that are never quite delivered.


Thanks to the folks at musicMagpie, we've got a PS3 copy of GTA V to giveaway. All you have to do to sling your name into the hat is to tell us how you'd go about robbing a bank...without guns. Be creative. Be imaginative. Be outlandish. Involve time travel and superpowers if you like! The more amusingly offbeat, the better.

The competition will close on Monday 7th October at noon.

This month's winner will be chosen by crystal ball.

A few little house rules:

  • UK entrants only please
  • No duplicate accounts
  • Please use a valid email address
  • Do feel free to comment more than once in the thread, but we'll only count you once for entry.

Good luck!

Add a comment22 comments
Late  Oct. 2, 2013 at 17:53

I've got detailed plans, but I'm not stupid - I ain't posting them here!

Last edited by [email protected], Oct. 2, 2013 at 18:39
kinkinkaid  Oct. 2, 2013 at 19:31

The old finger in the jacket pocket trick... ;)

mrzootsuit  Oct. 2, 2013 at 20:07

Mind control.


Last edited by mrzootsuit, Oct. 2, 2013 at 20:07
Quietus  Oct. 2, 2013 at 21:09

I tried once. I moved forward when I heard the robot lady announcer say "Cashier number four, please." I approached the cashier, and she offered me some half-hearted greeting. I calmly said "I'm Robin Bank", hoping that she'd read between the lines. She said "Hello, I'm Jenny Tulwarts." After that, I just couldn't go through with it.

Yukes  Oct. 2, 2013 at 22:30

The Moony Method

Tried and tested technique this.

Inside the bank, identify a sensitive-looking female with a large handbag. Move in front of the target, and discreetly pull a moony. The victim should scream in shock, at which point you should relieve her of her bag as she runs out of the establishment still screaming. Do not draw further attention to yourself by stealing the bag, but instead insert a loudly ticking clock into it. Summoning all your acting skills, alert everyone inside the bank to the bomb threat presented by the isolated bag.

When the bank has emptied of all staff and customers, make your way to the vault and destroy the door with plastic explosives (nobody said anything about explosives). Gather the money in a black duffel bag and exit the premises via the convenient back door. Proceed to make your getaway on your very best space hopper (other forms of getaway vehicle may, I suppose, be acceptable).

Anarchist  Oct. 2, 2013 at 23:23

I'd use the current trend of robbing banks, that seems to be all the rage these days...!

This involves faking my CV, to include some blue chip directorship jobs, then take on the position of CFO at the bank. After that, I just play the waiting game. They will soon figure out I am incompetent just like my predecessors, and sack me with a multi million pound payout.

Risk free and highly profitable!

On a similar note, when I was younger I knew this lad who was a bit simple, and he once told me about his attempt to stage a real life robbery at his local village post office.

He and his friends spent the entire morning planning it, obtaining balaclavas, sorting the getaway vehicle, organising weapons. They marched up to the post office late afternoon all prepared, then found out that they only do half day Wednesdays and were closed!

So they just went home, balaclavas and golf clubs in hand, and forgot about the whole thing.

sk82jack  Oct. 3, 2013 at 00:56

I'd create a GUI interface in Visual Basic to track the IP address in realtime

james_chelliah  Oct. 3, 2013 at 02:41

How? With shades on, obviously.

hotfinder  Oct. 3, 2013 at 09:32

If I were to Rob da Bank, I'd go back in time 200 years and become the architect of the building. Then I'd make sure there was a tunnel designed underneath the building. Then fast forwarding 200 years in my DeLorean, I'd simply go through the tunnel but then find out that I'd forgotten to build a hatch to get out of the tunnel and into the bank! Then I'd go back in time again, make sure the hatch was created, go through the tunnel open the hatch, take all the money with no one noticing. However, my plans were foiled when my body parts started to disappear and I couldn't carry the money back through the tunnel- I shouldn't have kissed my Mum as I fell out of a tree back in 1955 (I stopped off to see if I could find Marty McFly)! Ahhh!

cheekyangus  Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:12

I'd go in with a big bunch of balloons and tell the staff that they're full of poisonous gas, then say how it would be a shame to burst them. Obviously discrete breathing apparatus would be required to sell the "danger". Technically the helium wouldn't be good for you to breathe in so it would be true but obviously a balloon's quantity is perfectly fine and you could use this excuse in your defence should you get caught.

GetsugaTenshoS  Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:22

I would borrow the best tow truck and steal the bank itself. I'd attach it to the building, drag it away and once we're in a discreet location, I'd walk in with a rolled up newspaper to swat anyone who misbehaves and then take all the money.

The getaway involves a 4 wheel Road Scooter with the little basket on the front that I'd have acquired earlier. Nobody is going to suspect someone on a road scooter, it's the perfect disguise to make my getaway in.


Last edited by GetsugaTenshoS, Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:26
NickHarris  Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:26

I'd just wait until Rockstar launches the online version of GTA6 and then, when the whole internet breaks from the strain (along with the bank's security systems), I'd simply walk in and take what I wanted.

kid_jump  Oct. 3, 2013 at 10:32

I would need a team, a one man team in fact, the only man that can do it, Jason Statham.
First off we'd need Jason Statham's disguise as shown in the movie, the humming bird, as we all know they'll never suspect a man with hair to be the Jason Statham. After that the martial arts skills shown from the expendables 2 will be necessary take down security. Once that's done and out of the way the movie called the bank job, starring the one and only Jason Statham will be vital to this operation, as its the only means to access the vault.
My part in this? well ill you'll found out soon enough... After the robbery is done, the means of escape, or transportation might I say are by the excellent driving skills shown in Jason Statham's movie the transporter, minus the infamous shirtless oil scene of course.
And in the end you ask my part in all of this? well I am Jason Statham. With my new hit upcoming movie, Jason Statham: Jason Harder, featuring all my skills from my movies combined.
And that ladies and gentlemen is how you rob a bank :)

stevenjameshyde  Oct. 3, 2013 at 11:28

Well, obviously I'm going to need a copy of GTAV in order to perfectly hone my bank robbing craft. Which I will acquire by mind-controlling the Dealspwn staff until they let me win this competition

spike1985  Oct. 3, 2013 at 13:51

I've actually been planning this for sometime.... I have secretly been working on a bio-chemical weapon that make all who inhale the gas to turn into little kittens. I fill the bank with gas in the form of stink bomb ballons and then simply walk into the bank with a disco ball and some laser lights (to entertain the kittens)! Oh and remembering not to forget my gas mask i simply raid the bank and walk out rich and with a whole bunch of free kitty cats!.

Jaffo  Oct. 7, 2013 at 09:35

It's Monday morning and I had a terrible night's sleep so I'm too tired to think of anything elaborate.

I'll just go with slapping an Acme Portable Hole on the wall of the bank.


MattGardner  Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:02

Congrats to Jaffo, whose method of elegant cartoonish simplicity won the day this time. Stay tuned for prime emailage.

Given that all of the games appear to coming out this month, god knows what's going to hit the high point come the end of October. I have my fingers crossed for AssFlag. Please be good. PLEASE!

Late  Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:40

Congrats Jaffo :D

Nice to see a regular win! :D


There's only one must-have in October, for me, but I'm not giving any clues as to what it is.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm toying with a new avatar...

stevenjameshyde  Oct. 8, 2013 at 14:29

Given that all of the games appear to coming out this month, god knows what's going to hit the high point come the end of October

October is a mere beta test for next gen. I look forward to the reviews of Battlefield, Lego Marvel and BlackAss, but I won't be playing any of them until November 29th or thereabouts

Arkham Origins, on the other hand... tempting

Jaffo  Oct. 9, 2013 at 08:54

Oh my goodness! That's a much better start to the day.

Thanks guys!


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