Dealspwn

Platforms: PC | PS3 | Xbox 360 (reviewed)

Developers: Visceral Games

Publishers: EA Games

I nearly wet myself going through the first Dead Space game, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm 6'3, not exactly what you might call small, I fell asleep during Paranormal Activity, I once knocked a guy out accidentally with my own head, but none of that prepared me for Visceral's claustrophobic masterclass in tense, murderous paranoia. My flatmate simply laughed when he saw the husk of a man who resembles a small bear smoke half a pack of Camels as a result of jumping in terror for the thousandth time. It turned me into a gibbering wreck.

That's not really a problem I've had with Dead Space 3.

The icy planet of Tau Volantis presents a new Dead Space experience, one that has broadened and branched out in a number of ways. Gone are the tight confines of the Ishimura and the vast human tragedy of the Sprawl; the claustrophobic corridors of the past are replaced by icy caverns, abandoned outposts, and the stormy tundra wastes; scares have been subbed for wits and a quick trigger finger.

Platforms: PC | XBLA (reviewed)

Developer: Zombie Studios

Publisher: Microprose

Special Forces: Team X has a terrific name.

This third-person multiplayer shooter sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon, and for the record, it looks a bit like one too. Cel-shading can make a great game timeless or a mediocre one look superficially impressive, and the eyecatching art style really helps Zombie Studios' latest effort to stand out from the pack. It's a military multiplayer-only shooter, after all. Every little helps in the differentiation department. When presented with dozens of games that  revolve around big burly men shooting each other with assault rifles in run-down industrial locales, hell, I'll pick the rotoscoped one any day. Especially since the developers behind Blacklight Retribution promised to place rampant squads of attack dogs at our disposal.

Looks will only get you so far, however, and Special Forces: Team X might need to work on its inner beauty in order to become a long-term success.

Platforms: PC | Windows Phone | XBLA

Developer: 17-BIT

Publisher: Microsoft Studios

Death is only the beginning for General Akamoto. Killed at the moment of his greatest triumph, the haughty warlord discovers that heaven is little more than an enormous queue, and decides that eternity could be better spent conquering the afterlife and smashing all who oppose him into bonemeal. Something we can all relate to after waiting in the post office for a tax disc.

This daft premise introduces players to a colourful and humorous take on Feudal Japanese folklore, complete with anarchic gags aplenty and gorgeous, hand-painted assets. It frequently resembles period artworks and Kabuki theatre brought to detailed life, all cherry blossom, swirly scrolly ornaments and proud ranks of undead Samurai resplendent in their armour. All of which are quickly disarmed by numerous glib asides and laugh-out-loud one liners. Appearances can be deceiving though, because underneath the slick style and belly laughs beats the heart of a stone cold strategy game, with an eye to ruthlessly cut the fat from the turn-based genre.

Using a katana. Obviously.

Platform: PS Vita [PSN: £11.99]

Developer: Aquire | Neilo

Publisher: XSEED Games

Orgarhythm is one of several localised niche games to stumble onto British Vitas months after they released in the States (thanks, XSEED), and it really should have been brilliant. This strategy/rhythm hybrid hails from the legendary Tak Hirai, whose previous grand works include the likes of Space Channel 5 Part 2, Meteos and Shenmue. Its integral soundtrack comes courtesy of Japanese composer Ayako Minami, who helped out on Child Of Eden amongst other things. And, almost more excitingly, it follows in the grand tradition of Patapon, one of the first and entirely successful fusions between the two disparate genres.

It's a formula for success, but unfortunately, rhythmic synesthesia and hectic strategy make for stranger bedfellows than usual.

Platform: PS Vita [PSN: £11.99]

Developer: Game Arts

Publisher: GungHo Online Entertainment

The PS Vita desperately needs more games like Dokuro.

It's not the biggest or flashiest game to hit Sony's handheld. There was no hype campaign, no big license to piggyback on, and little in the way of fanfare on the run-up to its US launch last year. Dokuro's humble origins were as simple as they come, but as this unassuming puzzle-platformer proves, keeping things simple can sometimes be the key to creating a sensational game. Throughout what can only be described as a staggeringly vast number of perfectly-paced levels, players guide a lovesick skeleton on a quest to save a helpless princess, constantly encountering new challenges that use some instantly accessible mechanics in unpredictable (and surprisingly punishing) ways. Basically it's just a great fit for the handheld: a wholesome, elegant and charming romp that'll keep you entertained through countless commutes or lazy sofa Sundays.

We have much to discuss, especially now that Dokuro has finally staggered through Sony's hilariously tardy EU certification process. But before we do, you should probably think long and hard about where you last used your Vita... and where you ended up stashing it for safekeeping. You'll be needing it soon enough.

Platform: PC

Developer: Born Ready Games

It feels like an eternity since we last hurtled into the wild black yonder, engines screaming, ionised death howling through the void. The once-great space sim has found little love this generation, with few developers willing to take a punt and fewer still delivering a title of any note. We've long lamented this sad state of affairs and championed those rare studios who take us back into the zero-G danger zone.

So when the Guildford-based Born Ready Games promised to revitalise the genre with "Space Combat Reborn," it was like a dream come true.

Strike Suit Zero is their rage against the dying of the light: a fast-paced space shooter starring a wonderful transforming mecha fighter designed by Appleseed's Junji Okobo. Sporting gorgeously stylish visual flair, a soundtrack from Homeworld's Paul Ruskay and an emphasis on immediately engaging visceral combat, this brave new contender seemed destined to give the genre a shot of adrenaline straight into its faintly-beating heart. We, like many other space sim aficionados and Kickstarter backers, were so ready. Born ready. It's a shame, then, that the finished product hasn't quite lived up to its lofty mission statement.

Before we go any further, we need to discuss a matter of full disclosure. I backed Strike Suit Zero's Kickstarter campaign, and this is the first time I've reviewed a title that I also personally helped to crowd-fund. Whether that matters is entirely up to you, so hopefully we're both going into this review with our eyes open.

Last week saw the release of The Cave, the long-awaited platforming-adventure title from Double Fine and genre pioneer Ron Gilbert. We posted our written appraisal earlier this week, and we've got a snippet of our 7/10 review below:

Overall it never really manages to truly stand out in regards to gameplay, but its accessibility to control and its cast of colourful if morally-questionable characters make it an entertaining journey. Its co-op functionality may be somewhat less than desirable, but overall fans of Gilbert’s work should find it an enjoyable underground jaunt, be it on their own or with a friend.

If you're still on the fence as to whether to give it a go, hopefully our latest video review should help you decide. See The Cave in action after the jump.

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch is out on Friday and, as we've discussed in a rather long and deeply involved review, it's pretty damn fantastic!

Here's a little summary:

Ni No Kuni is more than the sum of its parts, more than Level-5 doing an impression of Studio Ghibli. The story might not quite be in the same league as Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke, but there's something that resonates all the same. There were moments that brought tears to the eye, others that brought the biggest smile to my face, and innumerable little vignettes that made me audibly chuckle, and all this amplified by visuals that dazzle and delight, a score that floods your ears with magnificence, and Familiar-based combat that proves rich and deep and engrossing. A triumph in roleplaying escapism.

Anywy, the video review is ready, so you can hear the mellifluous tones of my voice while sinking into a game so pretty it would probably make John McClane swoon.

Platform: PSP | PS Vita [PSN, £11.99]

Developer: 5pb Inc. | Team GrisGris

Publisher: XSEED Games

The original Corpse Party is an odd little proposition. Halfway between adventure game, visual novel, psychological horror experience and exploitative murder pornography, this bizarre PSP download managed to grimly captivate its players with deep inter-character relationships and shocking acts of violence visited upon helpless minors. Many of us soldiered through it, braving several frustrating gameplay sections and a constantly-building feeling of disgust, out of a desperate need to save the cast of terrified students trapped in a nightmare world... or occasionally out of perverse curiosity. Finding all of the horrific multiple 'wrong endings' became a sadistic addiction in and of itself, as was exploring the secret behind the cursed, hellish Heavenly Host high school.

So let me ask you a question. Are you a fan of Corpse Party? Did you emotionally connect with the characters, from the tragic relationship between Naomi and Seiko to the deliciously disturbed Morishige? Would you like to spend more time with them?

If you answered 'yes' to all of the above, you'll probably get a massive kick out of Book Of Shadows. Otherwise there's nothing for you here.

Platform: PC | PSN | XBLA | Wii U

Developer: Double Fine

Publisher: SEGA

While Double Fine continue to beaver away at their Kickstarted adventure game, another project of theirs has finally come to fruition in the form of The Cave - the brainchild of industry legend Ron Gilbert (of Manic Mansion and Monkey Island fame). With the resurgence of the adventure game genre, the thought of one of its pioneers once again making a foray into creating puzzles had us rather giddy with excitement, and now the wait is over with the end result landing on all current gen machines.  So, what exactly is The Cave all about? The game follows the trials of seven people who are not only trying to find what their heart desires, but to find out who they truly are. Their journey leads them to outside of the titular Cave – a place of personal trial and reflection that turns out to be a sentient being, acting as a narrator while the action unfolds.

At its core, the game plays as a platforming title with a slight adventure game twist, with items to be found and used in the puzzles players will encounter. Those of you who have played indie darling Limbo will be right at home here as it acts in a similar manner – the controlled character can push and pull certain objects to reach new areas and can only pick up one item at a time. However, unlike Limbo here in The Cave players have three characters under their control, the choice of which is completely down to them, and each having their own special ability to tackle the puzzles that lie ahead. For instance, the Time Traveller has the ability to phase ahead of a barrier, the Knight can shield himself from harm, and the Adventurer can use her whip to access new areas. Each ability is essential to the personal trial for that character, but they can be also be used to approach the general puzzles in various ways (although some are more useful than others in this respect.) There are no must-have characters to use either as any combination of the seven available can go through and experience The Cave – it’s completely down to you who you wish to take.

Platforms: PS3

Developers: Level-5 | Studio Ghibli

Publishers: Namco Bandai

NB. There are some light story spoilers in terms of the set up and Oliver's motivations, but that's it.

There's a reason why I love RPGs - perhaps the greatest being that it's such a rich and varied genre. Sometimes I want to forge my own path and write my own stories in a world of fantasy and adventure. Other times, I want to dive into a narrative-rich experience that sucks me in like my favourite books might, and lets me fill in the gaps between plot points. There's a sense of immersion with which I've always connected, from tabletop to page-turner to PC to Game Boy to Xbox to iPad. Much of it has to do with investment, and the time and careful consideration that goes into setting things up the way we want them and developing characters in certain ways. But more often than not, it has to do with exceptional world building, and the sheer thrill of escapism.

Level-5 and Studio Ghibli know more than most about weaving fantastical webs designed to captivate the mind and warm the heart.

It's one of those collaborations that you dream of, really, and one that fans might never have thought would genuinely occur given Ghibli's famed director Hayao Miyazaki's apprehension over video games as a worthwhile medium. But although he might have little to do with Ni No Kuni himself, the strong sense of morality and strength of character that oozes from the works of his such as Ponyo, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, and Spirited Away, are clearly evident in Ni No Kuni. It's clearly been a labour of love, enormous in scale and yet rich in detail. The name gives it away: Ni No Kuni, roughly translated, means 'second country', stirring up connotations of another world, a concept that works on a number of levels.

The dream, of  course, is that playing Ni No Kuni is like virtually living out a Studio Ghibli film - one in which you play a more direct role. But have Level-5 pulled it off?

Platform: PC

Developer: Souvenir Circ.

Publisher/Localisation: Nyu Media

Now that more Japanese games are being localised for Western audiences than ever before, we're getting to play some of the biggest hits from the Land Of The Rising Sun without having to import them. However, we're also able to enjoy some of the smallest indie productions courtesy of localisation specialists like Nyu Media. Their strong first wave of oft-overlooked Doujin titles (indie games created by a team or 'circle' of developers on a shoestring budget) brought us the likes of Eryi's Action and Fairy Bloom Freesia, both of which catered to their niche audiences brilliantly.

Croixleur is their first effort of 2013, a time-attack brawler from the Souvenir Circle starring... you guessed it... a cute anime girl of indeterminate age. As always.

Platform: PS Vita [PSN, £34.99]

Developer: Sandlot

Publisher: Namco Bandai (Europe)

Earth Defense Force 2017 is stupidly brilliant. Or brilliantly stupid. Or both. When it released on Xbox 360 back in 2007, this cut-price cult classic managed to capture our imaginations in ways that any number of AAA titans failed to do. As a member of the titular EDF (EDF! EDF!), it was up to us to annihilate the alien hordes with massive guns and destroy entire cities in the process. It was like playing a low-budget Japanese monster flick, complete with giant ants, massive robots, mecha-dinosaurs and hilariously poor voice acting, so even when it was awful we were having far too much fun to notice.

It makes even more sense on the PS Vita. This new portable version includes some extra weapons, a brand new playable character, online multiplayer and a performance boost. Better yet, the short replayable levels are a perfect fit for a handheld console.

But can it possibly be worth £35?

Platform: PS Vita

Developer: Q Entertainment

Publisher: Ubisoft

If it wasn’t for the Lumines games on the old PSP the underperforming handheld would have faded into obscurity and the back of our cupboards much sooner than it sadly eventually did. As the Vita approaches its first birthday with a distinct lack of killer apps, I’ve been looking over its back-catalogue, desperate for something to justify charging the thing up more than once a month. Now available for under a tenner, Lumines: Electronic Symphony seemed like a good place to start and certainly better value than when it wore that ridiculous £35 price tag.

Lumines is a block-puzzler but one that bears little resemblance to games like Tetris and Bejeweled 2. By rotating falling blocks of four squares you must create patterns of like colours in 2x2 or bigger blocks. These blocks will then become highlighted and the constantly sweeping timeline comes and clears them from your pile.

For big points, you’ll want to get as many ready as possible for each sweep to rack up combos and bonuses. Putting blocks down late may result in the line missing some, leaving irritating jumbled sections behind. Big points are rewarded for chains and creating combos from blocks that drop into place after others are cleared.

Platforms: PC | PS3 | Xbox 360 (reviewed)

Developer: Gearbox Software

Publisher: 2K Games

Borderlands 2 season pass holders have had a pretty good time of it thus far. Scarlet offered us adventure and plenty of buckles to be swashed. Mr. Torgue revelled in EXPLOSIONS AND SHOUTING, while paradoxically delivering the best writing of the series in BLOCK CAPITALS. Critically, there was something for everyone, and we've been looking forward to the third instalment with high expectations.

Sir Hammerlock's Big Game Hunt is slightly different, however, in that it seems to be designed for a particular kind of Borderlands 2 player. Specifically: level 50, Bee Shield-toting, raid boss farming, cooperative hardcore Vault Hunters craving a stern new challenge to break up the grindy 'item hunt.' Gearbox have given game complete players some meaty end-game content to get stuck into, especially with a few friends along for the ride. Some truly intimidating bosses await the intrepid adventurers who dare enter the savage continent of Aegrus, while the powerful new Witch Doctor enemy is good and ready to work you over.

Which, of course, means that solo players who boot up Borderlands 2 to unwind after a stressful day are in for a world of pain.

Platforms: iOS | PC (reviewed)

Developer: EightyEightGames

Time makes fools of us all. She's a harsh mistress, and she spanked me red raw last summer with a veritable smorgasbord of cracking PC indie games and the brutal expo circuit. This sadly meant that I wasn't able to review 10000000 for our sister site Mobot.net, a crying shame since tiny London-based developer EightyEight Games delivered one of last year's most addictive apps. Hectic match-3 mechanics and persistent character development interlocked in profoundly wonderful ways, giving us one of the most solid puzzle/RPG hybrids since the original Puzzle Quest.

Thankfully, 10000000 has now made its way to Steam, which opens it up to a whole new audience and gives us the perfect excuse to talk about it.

Time makes fools of us all. In 10000000, it's going to do so more often than not.

NB. In case you haven't guessed, the content below addresses some rather adult themes that may well prove NSFW.

Platforms: PC

Developers: No Reply Games

Publishers: No Reply Games

The fact that we probably wouldn't be covering this game had Valve not caused something of a stir when they kicked it out of Steam Greenlight says something about the nature and perception of erotic games in the West. It's a genre that's something less than an afterthought, a barely existent super-niche that lurks in the shadows of the internet in the form of barely interactive adventure titles or playground MMOs designed to let your avatar bump uglies with other avatars.

Developers Miriam Bellard and Andrejs Skuja are out to try and change that, with a game that attempts to deal with eroticism in a mature fashion.

Seduce Me sets the scene in simple fashion: you are a suitably virile young man with far too much time on his hands who, upon a chance meeting with promiscuous socialite Pietra, is invited to the latter's Grecian beach-side palace for sun, sea, sand, and sex. You arrive at the enormous villa, rendered in pristine fashion by the Unity engine, to find a number of attractive women waltzing about the place - Pietra is the hot-tempered celebrity host with the most; Cecilia, a near-permanently sloshed, maneater of a blonde divorcee, on the prowl for a moneyed husband; there's Lilia, Cece's rather moody and inexperienced daughter; and Esper, a kinky maid with a laughable work ethic. There are others who can help you boost your general popularity around the mansion, but it's the four above whom the game challenges you to seduce, fulfilling them both emotionally and passionately.

What this actually entails, however, is something of a numbers game. Each of the four girls you have a shot with have a progression bar for intimacy, and one for physical attraction, the general idea being to flirt with a woman to raise the latter, and have a deep-and-meaningful to boost the former. It's not that different from your run-of-the-mill dating games in this respect, and thankfully there are no fetch quests to speak of. However, there are also no real conversation trees, with all of the key exchanges between the player character and the women floating about the house taking place through the medium of card games.

We made a number of New Year's Resolutions this year - to finally get Jon that Japanese Hanar body pillow he craves so much, to create an entire range of stuffed Dealspwny toys, to try not to eat so many Doritos, and to try and nudge Carl into the world of online YouTube hip-hop superstardom. However, by far the most relevant resolution is to up our game when it comes to video content.

We're rather proud of Carl's Dealspwn Playthroughs, we test drove a debut video review last year for Borderlands 2, and we've had a few emails come through in the past few months asking if we're going to do more. Well...the answer is and emphatic YES!

We're kicking things off this year with an appraisal of the new-look Dante. Jon recently took the new DmC: Devil May Cry out for a spin (you read his DmC review here), and then roped in Carl to help him make a video all about it.

Platforms: PC | PS3 | Xbox 360 (reviewed)

Developer: Ninja Theory

Publisher: Capcom

Well, here we are.

Even if you haven't been trolling Youtube and fiercely debating the finer points of white versus brunette hair colouring, you'll almost certainly be aware that DmC: Devil May Cry has attracted major controversy and fan outcry over the last few months. In a brave step, Western developer Ninja Theory decided to stamp their own authority on the franchise and protagonist, creating a game that's very different from its predecessors in many key respects. We've got a new, grittier setting. A younger, more reckless and emotional Dante. Things will never be the same, but DmC: Devil May Cry is very similar to the original games in one important way.

It's a truly excellent hack & slash brawler.

DmC opens with Dante wasting his life in a beachside trailer as a nihilistic and violent delinquent, caring little about a world that cast him aside. However, after being hunted down by a powerful demon (and briefly flirting with the idea of wearing a white wig in an unapologetic dig at some of the more vocal haters), he's sucked into a nightmarish Limbo world that hides just behind the facade of day-to-day reality. After joining forces with his brother Vergil and a capable witch named Kat, the callous menace to society sets out to discover the truth behind his mysterious heritge and eventually bring furious vengeance to the demon king Mundus. Naturally, this involves plenty of pitched battles against hordes of demons broken up with some platforming, exploration and ridiculously OTT cutscenes.

Platform: Wii U (eShop)

Developer: WayForward Technologies

Publisher: Nintendo

WayForward Technologies have established themselves as one of go-to developers when it comes to 2D side-scrollers. Platformers, shooters, brawlers... so long as it scrolls sideways and packs plenty of nostalgic old-school flavour, they'll usually deliver an absolute corker. Case in point: the magnificent Mighty Switch Force, which delighted 3DS owners with its carefully-crafted retro gameplay brought up to date with clever puzzles and a nifty dimension-shifting mechanic.

So I'm delighted to report that the Hyper Drive (HD, geddit?) Edition works just as brilliantly on the Wii U, but ups the ante with a complete graphical overhaul, a new art style and twice as much content.