Since Super Mario Galaxy tricked me with its tiny "Sweet Sweet Galaxy" that was just one star long, I have been hankering for some confectionery based video game action to sink my teeth into. Which is why the spectacularly flawed Ninjabread Man crumbled my heart just a little bit with its shocking gameplay spread out over a stunningly short campaign.
The fact that it is available for just £6 does little to ease the pain-- frankly you'd be better off changing the cash into one penny pieces and seeing how far you could walk with it in your pockets. That said, if for some crazy reason you do actually want the game, then Ebuyer is the place to head; the next best price is £10.50 from Cool Shop, so at least you stand to make a decent saving.
It seems completely random as to whether Ebuyer charge the customer for postage or not but Ninjabread Man boasts free delivery, hurrah!
The concept sounds glorious; with Candy Land in uproar as it comes under constant attack from vicious beasts such as cupcakes, angry bees and jelly monsters, a hero steps up to the plate and he is one tough cookie. Ninjabread Man is ready to serve his enemies a good, sweet slice of justice as he transforms them into puddles of raspberry jam with his ninja stars and samurai sword. Really, what's not to love?
Sadly however, the answer is: a lot. What should be a treat of a game is instead a broken box of tricks, seemingly designed to frustrate and disappoint. You will probably get more enjoyment from admiring the box art and reading the blurb on the back than from actually playing the poor, pitiful thing. Sure, this is a game that is most likely aimed at the younger market, but children deserve far, far better than this. Who knows what tripe like Ninjabread Man could do to a young gamer's mind? It might even tempt them to leave their sofa and start using their imagination or, heaven forbid, get some fresh air!
Despite the enticing story promised on the game's box and marketing materials, there is no hint of narrative present in the repetitive three, yes three!, levels that comprise the entire game. Instead you get the simplest and most tedious of platforming action imaginable, with no explanation as to why anything is happening . This dire state of affairs is dusted off with a sprinkling of incredibly poorly implemented controls which fail on you at the most random of inopportune moments and render the game virtually unplayable, a smattering of hideous sound and constantly looping music, and the abysmal, immoveable camera is the rotten cherry on top.
The only little spoonful of sugar to make Ninjabread Man that tiny bit easier to swallow is the fact that the pain will only last an hour, if that. What a waste of a glorious pun.
Thanks to philmitchell at Hotukdeals!