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What would you do with your own Portal gun?

gregsy |  Jun. 29, 2011 at 14:44

Most Useful Answer Late  Jun. 30, 2011 at 10:43

Okay, I've given this a little (waaay too much) thought now...

Initial thought was one at home, one at work. I'd save thousands of pounds a year in travel, not to mention hundreds of hours travel time.
Or perhaps one at home and the other somewhere hot. Barbados perhaps. But to be honest I'd get little intrinsic value out of that.

So in the end I've settled on this plan of action.
I need cash. Quite a lot of it. I'd be able to get investment easily enough, but the problem with that is you're going to end up losing a small proportion of your future earnings. So crime is probably the best option. I'm going to use my portal gun to rob a bank, or something along those lines.
Then I'm going to use my ill gotten gains to buy land. Cheap unused land somewhere in England. And cheap unused land somewhere within about a hundred miles of New York. Then I'm going to put up a (probably permanent) portal in the middle of each.

The commercial potential is incredible. You've the means to cross the Atlantic pretty much instantaneously, and charging people to do that will earn a phenomenal amount. But you also own all the land in the area - and that land will instantly become the most expensive land on the planet, as everyone will want their business to be present at the world's busiest travel hub. Selling plots of the land would give instant millions. Keeping it and renting it out would earn more.

Another option was one on Earth and one elsewhere - perhaps on the moon, perhaps in a rocket bound for somewhere further ("I'm in space!"), but the logistics are more difficult (you'd need airlocks around them, for starters) plus the commercial value is probably more limited - certainly in the short term. Of course I have the option to go with that at some point in the future. Maybe sell all that valuable real estate I've built up around the portals, buy some new cheap land elsewhere, and start my new business in development of the moon or exploration of space...

I have way too much time on my hands, don't I...

(1 person agrees)
Add a comment6 comments
3grunner  Jun. 29, 2011 at 16:02

Put one in the bathroom and one by my sofa so i don't have to run up the stairs for a pee

JonLester  Jun. 29, 2011 at 17:16

As much as I'd like to pretend that I'd use a Portal Gun for awesome crimes or sexy times, I would probably just do much the same as 3grunner IRL. It's basically a portable urinal, good shout.

Last edited by JonLester, Jun. 29, 2011 at 17:16
Late  Jun. 30, 2011 at 10:43

Okay, I've given this a little (waaay too much) thought now...

Initial thought was one at home, one at work. I'd save thousands of pounds a year in travel, not to mention hundreds of hours travel time.
Or perhaps one at home and the other somewhere hot. Barbados perhaps. But to be honest I'd get little intrinsic value out of that.

So in the end I've settled on this plan of action.
I need cash. Quite a lot of it. I'd be able to get investment easily enough, but the problem with that is you're going to end up losing a small proportion of your future earnings. So crime is probably the best option. I'm going to use my portal gun to rob a bank, or something along those lines.
Then I'm going to use my ill gotten gains to buy land. Cheap unused land somewhere in England. And cheap unused land somewhere within about a hundred miles of New York. Then I'm going to put up a (probably permanent) portal in the middle of each.

The commercial potential is incredible. You've the means to cross the Atlantic pretty much instantaneously, and charging people to do that will earn a phenomenal amount. But you also own all the land in the area - and that land will instantly become the most expensive land on the planet, as everyone will want their business to be present at the world's busiest travel hub. Selling plots of the land would give instant millions. Keeping it and renting it out would earn more.

Another option was one on Earth and one elsewhere - perhaps on the moon, perhaps in a rocket bound for somewhere further ("I'm in space!"), but the logistics are more difficult (you'd need airlocks around them, for starters) plus the commercial value is probably more limited - certainly in the short term. Of course I have the option to go with that at some point in the future. Maybe sell all that valuable real estate I've built up around the portals, buy some new cheap land elsewhere, and start my new business in development of the moon or exploration of space...

I have way too much time on my hands, don't I...

(1 person agrees)
Last edited by Late, Jun. 30, 2011 at 10:44
Late  Jun. 30, 2011 at 11:57

If the boss finds out how much time I spent on that I'll need one in the job centre! X)

emmajk42  Jun. 30, 2011 at 14:16

Ha ha nice one Late. I was thinking of the transatlantic thing too, charging a fortune for rich businessmen to travel. But then I started thinking in more depth... if I have a portal gun, why doesn't everyone else?

MattGardner  Jun. 30, 2011 at 15:48

Potential would be limited, of course. You'd need to actually have line of sight (or fire) with desired destinations to be able to place the gun...which rather rules out bank vaults :(

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