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Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

Author:
Jonathan Lester
Category:
Funnies
Tags:
Fifa, Goldeneye 007, Gran Turismo, Mario Kart, SingStar

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

Pub games are as old as drinking itself, and frankly, we need to see more boozers move with the times. These days classic coin-ops have been replaced by fruit machines and trivia, but with the likes of Loading Bar and now Brighton's Duke Of Beaufort bringing proper videogames back into the fold, we've had a bit of a think and decided what virtual delights we'd like to sample while drinking responsibly, oh so very responsibly, on a Friday evening.

Mario Kart, Obviously

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

'Nuff said.

SEGA Bass Fishing

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

This Dreamcast classic was originally ported from coin-op cabinets, but personally, we'd much prefer the console version and the crazy Dreamcast peripherals. Why? Because we can relax and enjoy fishing the way it was intended: tipsy and sitting down.

Plus, let's face it, this was the business.

Singstar Ultimate Party

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

One for Karaoke nights only, but Singstar Ultimate Party has a neat gimmick that lets anyone step up. The app lets players sync their mobile phone with the game, which is easy as pie, not to mention a great way of cutting down on microphones to replace and clean.

We love a sing-song here at Dealspwn. Perhaps a little too much. Either way, this is a great way to do it!

NB: The picture above is an artist's impression of us viewed through severe beer goggles. I'm the one on the floor.

Any Kinect Dance Game

No game or platform since WarioWare: Smooth Moves has carried a greater potential for public hilarity since Kinect, and frankly, you know this would be hilarious. Just fire up Dance Central or Just Dance, imbibe some Dutch courage and impress the opposite sex with some legendary dance moves, while desperately trying not to fall over or hurl. Classic.

NO. A group of intoxicated people holding glassware playing Kinect games in a public space?! We can't endorse that, even if it would be really, really funny. - Ed

Gran Turismo

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

Even your most stubborn mate will hand over their keys when they skid off at the first virtual corner.

Goldeneye... In A Protective Shrine...

Goldeneye is still one of the best multiplayer shooters and party games ever, so obviously it needs to take pub pride of place. Unfortunately, though, it's also incredibly fragile. Jogging the console in any way results in hilarious and game-killing glitches -- the classic 'Geddan' video above should say it all -- so busy establishments would have to construct some sort of concrete or titanium enclosure in which to house the precious machine, perhaps mounted on a gyroscopic platform, hundreds of feet below the Earth's surface and protected by an army of unsleeping robot zombie guards...

...Or Just Timesplitters

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

Oh. That'd be easier.

FIFA?

Four Pints, Four Players & A Packet Of Crisps: The Ultimate Pub Videogames

Putting FIFA in pubs could result in some nasty fights, but only because people will be squabbling over recovering their account to keep working on their Ultimate Team.

Add a comment4 comments
stevenjameshyde  Nov. 6, 2014 at 16:43

Rock Band, you fools

stevenjameshyde  Nov. 6, 2014 at 16:45

Also, Super Monkey Ball on the GameCube (tennis/bowling modes), Bomberman and Castle Crashers

Peanutman  Nov. 8, 2014 at 01:41

4-player Crossplay on Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes was amazing.

I also loved Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee on the Gamecube. The mad scramble for the Mothra power-up was always fun, followed it's crappy assist if you got it.

Armour Warriors was great, but only three-player (fourth 'player' makes the drinks).

Also, surely Super Smash Brothers?

Peanutman  Nov. 8, 2014 at 01:41

Also, Super Monkey Ball on the GameCube (tennis/bowling modes), Bomberman and Castle Crashers


Don't forget Monkey Target.

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