Pub games are as old as drinking itself, and frankly, we need to see more boozers move with the times. These days classic coin-ops have been replaced by fruit machines and trivia, but with the likes of Loading Bar and now Brighton's Duke Of Beaufort bringing proper videogames back into the fold, we've had a bit of a think and decided what virtual delights we'd like to sample while drinking responsibly, oh so very responsibly, on a Friday evening.
Mario Kart, Obviously
SEGA Bass Fishing
This Dreamcast classic was originally ported from coin-op cabinets, but personally, we'd much prefer the console version and the crazy Dreamcast peripherals. Why? Because we can relax and enjoy fishing the way it was intended: tipsy and sitting down.
Plus, let's face it, this was the business.
Singstar Ultimate Party
One for Karaoke nights only, but Singstar Ultimate Party has a neat gimmick that lets anyone step up. The app lets players sync their mobile phone with the game, which is easy as pie, not to mention a great way of cutting down on microphones to replace and clean.
We love a sing-song here at Dealspwn. Perhaps a little too much. Either way, this is a great way to do it!
NB: The picture above is an artist's impression of us viewed through severe beer goggles. I'm the one on the floor.
Any Kinect Dance Game No game or platform since WarioWare: Smooth Moves has carried a greater potential for public hilarity since Kinect, and frankly, you know this would be hilarious. Just fire up Dance Central or Just Dance, imbibe some Dutch courage and impress the opposite sex with some legendary dance moves, while desperately trying not to fall over or hurl. Classic.
NO. A group of intoxicated people holding glassware playing Kinect games in a public space?! We can't endorse that, even if it would be really, really funny. - Ed
Even your most stubborn mate will hand over their keys when they skid off at the first virtual corner.
Goldeneye... In A Protective Shrine...
Goldeneye is still one of the best multiplayer shooters and party games ever, so obviously it needs to take pub pride of place. Unfortunately, though, it's also incredibly fragile. Jogging the console in any way results in hilarious and game-killing glitches -- the classic 'Geddan' video above should say it all -- so busy establishments would have to construct some sort of concrete or titanium enclosure in which to house the precious machine, perhaps mounted on a gyroscopic platform, hundreds of feet below the Earth's surface and protected by an army of unsleeping robot zombie guards...
...Or Just Timesplitters
Oh. That'd be easier.
Putting FIFA in pubs could result in some nasty fights, but only because people will be squabbling over recovering their account to keep working on their Ultimate Team.