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Skip (Slaughter) Merrily (Brutally) Through Pyroland (Delusional Nightmares) With The New Team Fortress 2 Update

Jonathan Lester
Balloonicorn, Pyro, Pyroland, Pyromania, Team Fortress 2, Update, Valve

Skip (Slaughter) Merrily (Brutally) Through Pyroland (Delusional Nightmares) With The New Team Fortress 2 Update

To celebrate the release of Meet The Pyro, as is their wont, Valve has released a massive free patch for Team Fortress 2. Along with four outrageous new musical weapons, the Pyromania update contains Pyrovision Goggles that transform the world into a magical realm of candy and Balloonicorns. Since that's what the unhinged arsonist sees as he consigns his foes to the flames.

You can enter Pyroland by equipping the new Pyrovision Goggles or one of a set of new musical weaponry for the Pyro class:

  • The Rainblower: "Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed by fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire)."
  • The Lollichop: "Fill (split) your buddies' tummies (skulls) with delicious candy (cold steel) with this oversized sugary treat."
  • The Burning Bongos: "When you were a kid, all you wanted was to play the bongos. But then you grew up and, like all of us, realised you're not as good at bongos as Matthew McConaughey. Well, guess what, pal: nobody is, or ever will be. What, are you going to give up just because he's the best?"
  • The Infernal Orchestra: "Your BFFs (enemies) will turn their frowns upside down (confront their own mortality) as they dance a merry jig to (run in terror from) these cheery tunes (soul-destroying funeral dirges)."

Oh, and the Balloonicorn is adorable. You can read the full Pyromania patch notes here.

The Pyromania update also introduces Source Filmmaker, a free program that allows fans to make their own animated Team Fortress 2 machinima. It will release later this year.

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