Mozilla, the creator of Firefox, has quietly released a free browser-based MMO. BrowserQuest is incredibly simple - you'll click on enemies to kill them, gain experience and equip loot - but features a deceptive level of depth thanks to interactions with other players. Whether you quest alone or join up with a few new friends, it's a seriously addictive little venture that's perfect for killing a few hours of downtime (or helping the work day fly by, we won't judge you).
Check it out here... if you have some free time on your hands.
The best way to get down to Sin City is obviously in the SIN Car, powered as it is by the evil thoughts and blasphemous deeds of its driver. That is, you. So if you've got the ladders and snakes, roll those loaded dice and and put the champagne on ice.
Enough AC/DC lyrics already. You get to drive a car and on the way you can collect tokens to boost your score. Simple stuff, except you control the movement of the vehicle by extending the track, which is formed like a sound wave.
Move the mouse up and the waves get longer, move the mouse down and they get shorter. Obstacles extend out from the sides of the course, so you've got to bend the waves to avoid them.Not to worry. Dave's unearthed a trove of other free treasures this week to keep you entertained.
Can't you people just leave me alone? I'm right in the middle of a Champions League chase with Liverpool in Football Manager 2012 and you're asking me to stop to run through the latest puzzle-platformers and woeful art games? Have you no compassion for a man hopelessly addicted?
Right, so if you're still reading, you obviously are a cold, heartless swine who demands information on free games and will stop at nothing to get it. Fine, I'll just pause the game with Wolves and have a little rummage around, see what I can find.
Ah, here's something. Unlock is a puzzler involving breaking a pixellated man out of prison by moving blocks about. You do this by using the arrow keys to move a cursor about, selecting a set of coloured blocks with Space and then moving them so your guy can exit the screen.
It starts out farcically easy and gradually gets tougher until you give up, not wanting to bother any more. Until that moment, whenever you reach it, it's a reasonably simplistic-yet-interesting little number.Click here to read more...
Taking things apart is one of the things we do in games. We take things apart with guns or swords, dismembering humans or used-to-be-humans on a regular basis without batting an eyelid. We disassemble (or deconstruct) tactical plans in strategy games, before developing our own based on the inner workings of the enemy.
But we don't often take lunch boxes apart. That's what you have to do in this Japanese language title, Dismantlement – Lunch, which involves solving puzzles to break/snap/take bits off or out of the box. First you have to crack the code to get into it, then remove individual pieces by mucking about with various conundrums inside, including a personal favourite involving letters.
There are no hints for any of the puzzles, so you'll certainly get stumped by at least one of them at some point, which can be off-putting, but otherwise it's a simple puzzle game that can wile away a few minutes should you tire of more exhausting pursuits, like running over pedestrians or snapping the necks of innocent guards.Click here to read more...
It's Sunday morning, I overslept and now it's time to play some freeware games. Today, you see, I don't want to play freeware games, not at all. But you, you slavering pack of wild dogs baying for the blood and sweat of indie developers, you demand it of me. So I must obey, your humble servant. But it won't stop me calling you a bunch of ****ers for it, though.
Right, so you want games? Here, have Legends of Kong, which doesn't look like it has anything to do with giant monkeys or that female wrestler out of TNA. But is this Kong awesome or is it just sitting around stripping the leaves off twigs? (Actually it seems to be a tribute to Kongregate.)
You've been sent to deal with an 'incident' by the CEO of an international arms company, so naturally you don't get given any weapons until you buy them. I mean, come on, you're on a top secret, deadly serious mission but that won't stop them refusing to provide you with the tools you need to complete it. That's capitalism for you.
But anyway, once you get into the fight, armed only with your bare fists, it turns out to be a flick-screen action-platformer. Enemies have been mind-controlled by an unknown force and you and a cowardly robot buddy have to descend into the maelstrom and kick ass in the name of international gun peddling.Click here to read more...
We're liberal folks here at Dealspwn and can handle even the most sensitive of topics with calm, balanced comment. So when a “lesbian dating sim with BDSM elements” plopped through our browser's mailbox and positively screamed to be played (possibly after being whipped or tortured into doing so) we knew that making cheap jokes about leather or chains would be right out.
But what exactly is an S&M date? The Case of the Vanishing Entree aims to explore this concept via the medium of text and via a website with the words “Encyclopedia Fuckme” on it. So, yeah, if your boss can't handle something with “filthy nasty dirty stuff” in it, you might not want to gather round the co-workers for a quick blast (as it were).
One thing first – she, one Ms. Anna Anthropy, uses the word “fucking” a lot. Far too much, in fact. I get that it's meant to be 'gritty', 'the language of reality' and so on, but it's gratuitous here. Too much and it loses its impact.
Anyway, you've got a date and it's got a lot of potential, but things don't necessarily go to plan. Playing out like a Choose Your Own Adventure story, you'll generally have two options to select to see what happens.Click here to read more...
Let's cut the pre-match team talk and walk straight out on the pitch to face this week's digital opponents, shall we? Lining up in goal for the enemy is a game about racing through a 3D world in a speedboat, avoiding the motorised seafarer's most common enemy: the dinosaur.
Sharks also pop up, but sadly they're not a patch on the Megalodon and this doesn't star a rampantly heterosexual John Barrowman suggesting he chew out the nether regions of a wooden co-star.
Anyway, you can choose to either race or, if you're ambitious, build and share a track. Racing is very easy to pick up, but difficult to master, with the arrow keys controlling your craft and the R key restarting should you screw things up.
Before each race, you can see the track being 'built' in front of you, providing a quick chance to plot a course in an attempt to beat your best time, which can then be shared as a “can you do better?” challenge on Twitter, Facebook or via the old school method of copying and pasting a special link to wherever you choose.
Along your way, you can get your speed boosted with handily placed chevrons, crash into the snapping maws of the aforementioned sharks or have the dinosaurs sweeping, bobbing heads knock you off course.
Even without the addition of the social media thing, it'd be addictive stuff, but with it there's a massive incentive to keep plugging away and shaving seconds off your time. And being browser-based, it's very accessible.
So for this reason, we're going to award a totally pointless and irrelevant Game of the Week award to Super Springbreak Speedboat Hero SD.Click here to read more...
'Do you like to watch? Yeah, I bet you do, watching away, too scared to get involved yourself. You make me sick!' That's what you'll be saying to anyone who plays The King's League, a game in which you play an elderly monarch looking to find an heir to his throne, a task he is looking to complete by inviting brave young things to battle it out for his vicarious pleasure.
The voyeuristic patriarch of this kingdom needs first to recruit units that will serve him and then train them up. Over time you'll get more units coming through of different types – soldiers, archers and so on – all of which need training in one of six attributes.
You have to pay them all a monthly salary, so you can't just hire indiscriminately. After a few days the King's League tournament begins, where you can pit your jolly japesters against those of a rival, let's say, nobleman from the area (no idea, just sounds like it could make sense).
Battle soon commences and you just sit back and do nothing, hoping the troops you've selected have enough of what it takes to win the day.
It's a strange one, really. There's a degree of tactics involves, in that you need to think about what the enemy might throw at you and try to field a balanced force. But, then again, you're not actually doing anything, just basically playing a management game.Click here to read more...
Hello there, welcome to the premium free detritus of the web column, where you get all the news you'll ever need (ish) in one nugget-sized column. So cover these words in the invisible ketchup spewing from your eyes and read on, maybe dipping a chip into them every so often.
First into the sauce is Victory, a puzzle-platformer that doesn't exactly start out in a challenging way. The first few levels are simpler than a Premier League footballer, although they have ludicrously pretentious little quotes describing them.
Ignoring them in order to stem the riding tide of anger, it's fortunate that the easiness doesn't last for long. After a while of just hopping up onto a couple of platforms and up through the exit, you'll finally begin to notice the walls closing in from each side, forcing a bit more urgency in how you approach each level.
Then you remember you can also spawn crates, which hasn't been an issue up until now. Eventually it starts to become, while not massively challenging, at least engaging enough to be worth a go.Click here to read more...
After a weekend away, the last thing one might want to do is come back and immediately get stuck into the best of the previous week's free games, but such is the life of a columnist. Everyone else is tucked up in bed with their cocoa and their loved one/favourite sex toy in their... actually, let's stop there.
Let's just get stuck into the games instead. First up is a one-button puzzler called Ichi, which sadly has nothing to do with the Takashi Miike film, Ichi the Killer. That combination would have been an interesting game, but that's for another day.
This is 20 megabyte download and involves completing 15 levels by collecting the shiny yellow circle on each one. To do this, you need to guide a laser beam from its starting position to the yellow circle, or multiple ones on later levels.
You do this by rotating a red triangle so the laser beam deflects off it and continues on its journey. Sometimes the walls are broken or jagged, so if you send the beam into them, it's level over and you have to try again.Click here to read more...
Woo yeah! Free games! A column dedicated to them that arrives on or around the beginning of the week, but that's for some reason not appeared until today! That's what we've got here, folks, in case you were unaware of the reason for what we're doing.
Today, as it's the 40th column I've keyed into Dealspwn, we're going to celebrate by focusing on a sprawl of games, not three as is usual, or even one long glance like last time, but seven tasty little numbers.
Yes, seven. A magnificent number. Kenny Dalglish's number. A good number on a craps table, I believe (could be wrong, am reaching here).
One is a good number too, and there's no better place to start on a list going from, well, one to seven. Numero uno today is named after a David Bowie song, The Man Who Sold The World, and although I really don't like anything Bowie's ever done, except the Nomad Soul game he appeared in, why not take a look at this?
It's 'artistic', which is usually another word for 'pretentious drivel platformer'. And lo, it is a platformer. What a surprise. But hang on, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. It might be ok, you never know. The music's pleasant enough, after all.
Oh, spoke too soon, the music soon turns into utterly dreadful bleepy shite. It's a basic platforming affair with reasonable controls, it turns out, with some pretty awful music blasting your eardrums during the first level. It does get better, audio-wise, but the platforming is too basic to be of much interest for long.Check out the rest of Dave's extended roundup after the break...
Bet you thought that was the end, didn't you? “Where's my favourite ever internet column that I never feel compelled to comment on?” you would almost certainly have been thinking (We did actually get one or two concerned emails about this! - Ed.). Well, it was just on a little hiatus. People in the games industry are allowed to take breaks too, you know.
But yes, we're back in the free gaming house, full of vim, vigour, verve and maybe even some vinegar. And this week, we've got something that was obviously inspired by the disappearance of this column, namely The End.
The end is just the beginning, the site says. It also says there's an epic quest of personal discovery awaiting anyone who dares to start. Someone with less integrity might pretend to review the game by just looking at the handy summary text and images found on the main site and extrapolating from there.But not us! Hit the jump for the rest of Dave's discerning appraisal...
Promising last week that this would be the end of us featuring games with zombies in them, the first title up for examination this time out features zombies. Promises are meant to be broken, after all.
But be fair, they're called Zomgies this time, and a G can make all the difference. Although it doesn't really. They're still zombies, unless the G is there to indicate that these ones don't stumble and shamble, but sprint and chase.
Anyway, this second installation features 14 levels and three difficulty settings, and lots of bloody explosions. That is, explosions of blood, not a cursed number of them. You'll be constantly moving from left to right, with zomgies chasing you and appearing in front. Shoot them with your pistol or whatever weapons you find, or toss explosives at them.
You can even get into vehicles and run them down, which is a good laugh. Health drops and antidote capsules can be collected, though what the latter do other than being there to collect and counting towards your end of level score is beyond us.Click here for more Free Play goodness...
Do you remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books from the 80s? They were great, weren't they? I mean, not great in terms of the quality of prose or anything, but to young and impressionable minds, being able to alter the course of the narrative even just a little bit was a big thing.
Age grew into the Fighting Fantasy books, Lone Wolf and perhaps the pinnacle of that literary genre, the Way of the Tiger series. This is all relevant because this week's first game brings back a few of those (ancient) memories. Ah, to be young and full of ideas of what a Teeth of Tiger throw would actually look like in real life.
So, anyway, The Sagittarian is like that, reading a paragraph or two, making a decision and seeing where that takes you. There are three chapters, none of which are massively long, so it won't outstay its welcome and will be finished easily enough.Click here to read more...
Being in the middle of a house move makes playing games tricky, even if it's for work-related reasons. However, fret ye not, this week's collection of freeware efforts has been extensively scouted in the few minutes between filling mugs with brown paper and shoving them into boxes.
Fat Wizard is another AdultSwim effort with a 'humourous' edge, a pseudo-tower defence game that sees you as the titular magic user attempting to fend off enemies who want to destroy/steal your precious red egg. Presumably because they want to make a full English breakfast with it, who knows?
The motives of your assailants aside, you'll achieve your goal by erecting (giggle – childish Ed) fences, casting spells and beating off (giggle – childish Ed) your foes any way you can.Click here to read more...
Last week's effort was rather blighted by the curse of the E3 thing that happened over in that US place. Fortunately, that's all done and dusted for one year and the final dregs and previews-of-not-so-important-games have finally been put up, so people are beginning to release new freeware games again.
One of the cornerstones of this column is that the games featured have to be of interest to me, so sometimes we'll ignore the buzz surrounding a title if it doesn't strike any particular chords with your commentator here.
There was virtually nothing of interest last time out, but having done some digging, a few items have emerged from the primordial ooze, ready for inspection. The first of them is Extreme Road Trip, which caught the eye because of the name.Click here for more Free Play goodness...
I'm kind of all typed out today, having just spent hours... actually, that's a lie, all I was doing was playing FIFA 11 all day, then Football Manager. Oh, and I was watching some Stewart Lee clips on YouTube, inspiring this truth-telling introduction slightly. But the last thing I really wanted to do was write about some browser-based games involving inflatable penises or whatever crazy character I was being asked to control with the arrow keys this time.
But you know, a faint veneer of professionalism needs to be shown so... WAHEY! Free games are great! How's about we discuss one right now? Yeah!
I originally read this as Divas Mortis when in fact it's Divis Mortis, which isn't a game about the death of Naomi Campbell and Beyonce Knowles. Sadly. What it is is a text adventure about grim, horrible things. So I guess it kind of is like those two.
It reminds me of a text version of a rubbish adventure game I played a long time ago, the name of which escapes me. It's post-apocalypse time, lots of dead people around, you're in a hospital and have to figure out how you got smacked over the head with a pipe and left for dead.Hit the jump for the rest of Dave's findings...
We've had inflatable Japanese characters on these pages before, and it seems the tradition of stuffing your avatar's face for profit is a popular one. Instead of a heroic cat bouncing down a Peggle-esque level, this time we've got a sumo wrestler who needs a bit of nourishment before he can defeat his opponent.
Hungry Sumo is very simple. Hover the mouse over your gluttonous gladiator and he'll expand, chowing down on the fattening substance in his rice bowl. Perhaps it's helium.
Combat is initiated merely by colliding with an opponent, and the trick is to stop inflating your sumo before this occurs. If you are feeding him when he makes contact, he'll pop like a rice-filled balloon, although sadly there's no animation of his entrails smearing the level as they fly from his distended body.Click here to read the rest of Dave's free play roundup....
One thing we can be thankful for in this modern world is there are always hired goons ready to be mown down in waves. Without their selfless efforts, games like Raid Mission wouldn't exist and our shooters would be devoid of unintelligent scum to eliminate.
A turn-based strategic combat game, you take control of a group of police cops intent on stomping on the throat of crime. As their commander and general god-like figure, you order them around, equip them and change their underwear when things get all dangerous.
Your first mission is to arrest a 'gangster boss' who has been disturbing the peace in a place called Springville City. Once in game, two goons start shooting at you, but naturally they miss. Then it's your turn, and you get to choose whether or not to take a look at the tutorial. You should, really.Click here to read the rest of Dave's roundup...
Has it really been 30 weeks since this column was first spewed forth from the idea hole in Dealspwn headquarters? Apparently so, although it's actually been a few weeks more due to holidays and such. Even those who delve into the seedy underbelly of the freeware scene need a break every now and then.
To celebrate this landmark occasion, nothing out of the ordinary has been done. It's a celebration in name only, and we'll kick things off by just talking about a Japanese Virtua Cop/Time Crisis homage called Nobuyuki Forces 4.Click here to see what freeware goodness Dave has uncovered this week...