Every Sunday, we'll be diving into the Dealspwn archives to bring you an article or review from yesteryear. With Grim Fandango HD finally just a few days away from release, we take a look at our 2010 countdown of the funniest games out there. An article plucked from the archives and dusted off for this comment from ODB:
"Why the **** has Grim Fandago not been released on consoles updated just like Monkey Island?? AWESOME game but never finished it due to my copy crashing so far in every time. Also Lucasarts please bring back the old anti-copy protection dials you used to have for these sort of games!!! They were quality!!!"
Fast forward four years and three months, and the wish is coming true!
* * *
Humour in games is a hard thing to pull off, but with DeathSpank making some noise, and Duke Nukem dusting off his pithy one liners once more, we figured it was about time we took a look back at some of the funniest games of all time. It's a subjective list, to be sure, but we think these ten have earned their place as true gaming comedy classics.
Honourable mentions go to Resident Evil for having the worst plot translation and voice work ever, PaRappa the Rapper for turning a gangsta scene into something colourful, absurd and side-splittingly funny, Command and Conquer for having the hammiest, OTT acting and Elite Beat Agents for being utterly, incomprehensibly Japanese. Seriously, check out this video...it's insane.
Bizarre weapons, snappy one liners from a protagonist simply named The Dude and, of course, some epic cameos from Gary Coleman, Postal 2 was utterly insane...and all the better for it! We don't really see games like this much any more. Yes it was bloody, violent, at times pretty sick, but it was also hilarious, over the top, tongue-in-cheek and often satirical, lampooning our frustrations over mundane activities like picking up a Christmas tree, buying milk or cashing a cheque and utterly rife with dark humour. In what other game can you use a cat as a silencer I ask you!Click here to read more...
Last week finally saw HMV find a new buyer, ensuring one more traditional bricks and mortar business would enable gaming to have a high street presence alongside Blockbuster and Game. With most of us using online retailers to buy and pre-order games nowadays, you may wonder why we still need video games to be represented on the high street.
As this console generation winds down, we’ve seen a steep decline in game sales across the board. In 2012, retail sales were hit the most and dropped by over 20%. Game, Blockbuster and HMV barely survived, as gamers’ attention wavered. The original Wii’s bubble burst and there was a lack of any serious mass appeal products to renew lapsed players’ (read: more casual than you and I for example) interest. The numbers for Call of Duty are down and we’re repeatedly hearing of sequels selling only a shadow of what the previous game did – hello DMC.
So much rests on the shoulders of the next gen machines. Jaded consumers need to be blown away again with powerful graphics and innovative concepts that they can’t find on current gen consoles. If you think these things aren’t important then take a look at the Wii U. If retail stores can be a big part of the launch of next-gen consoles then they stand a better chance of being carried through with the renewed enthusiasm that gaming is crying out for and more importantly, customers might keep coming back.
Click here to read more...
Recent news has seen gamers lash out over the launch fiasco surrounding EA’s latest SimCity title. The game requires an always-on internet connection, which meant it broke as soon as it went live as thousands of enthusiastic gamers tried to play at once.
This happened days after Crytek CEO, Cervat Yerli, said, “I think the notion of a single-player experience has to go away.” Instead, he believes there should be more integration with the online world with “online single-player.” So, while keen to plug his upcoming online game, Warface, he’s stupidly kicked his other game -Crysis 3- in the stones. Guess we know why Crysis 2 and 3’s single-player modes can only muster a rental recommendation then.
It shouldn’t surprise you that here at Dealspwn we still think that single player games have a huge part to play in gaming. Yes, titles like Warface and Bungie’s Destiny look set to do great things with online multiplayer. However, as EA have shown recently, internet technology, server competence, a bewildering capacity to underestimate traffic and an astonishing amount of shortsightedness are constant reminders that developers and publishers simply aren’t ready.Click here to read more...
Recently I found myself watching an episode of Star Trek: Voyager involving the Borg (the best Voyager episodes in my opinion) and afterwards I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to take control of The Collective and send a load of Cubes and Spheres zipping around the various quadrants assimilating species at will. Now in the past I would have been able to try this out for real thanks to a brilliant RTS game, possibly my favourite RTS game ever, known as Star Trek Armada II. Even though it's over 10 years old now, its popularity has hardly dwindled at all, after all a used copy on eBay can still set you back upwards of £30! But what makes it so good? Well, I'll tell you!
The story behind the campaign centres around a Borg plot to invade the Alpha Quadrant, and involves a variety of races that should be well known to Trekkies, although you'll only be able to play as The United Federation of Planets, The Klingon Empire, and The Borg Collective. Once you've worked your way through the campaign, chances are you'll jump into the Instant Action section of the game as well as the Multiplayer, which I for one found far more enjoyable and easily wasted days on end playing through. These sections of the game also offer you the choice of being a part of the Romulan Star Empire, the Cardassian Union, and Species 8472, in addition to the races I've already mentioned.
Essentially the gameplay is the same for all the races, you need to gather resources in order to build more stations and units, before launching an offensive against your enemies, so pretty standard RTS stuff! Of course there's a little more to it than that; special weapons differ between the various races, as do perks and weaknesses, so chances are your tactics'll depend on who you're playing as. Your ships' systems should be monitored closely, for example if life support fails on one of your ships its crew complement will start to drop rapidly and you'll have to transport reinforcements on board from another ship in order to continue repairs and prevent it from becoming derelict at which point the Ferengi will turn up to drag them away (unless of course you've turned them off in the menus, which I'd highly recommend). Extra crew members can also be gained by sending colony ships to establish footholds on the various planets that are littered about the maps.
Of course, before you get into any of this, you'll have to pledge your allegiance to one side or another. So which race should you try out first?Click here to read more...
Super Mario 64 was one of the best titles that ever graced the Nintendo 64, in fact it's one of the few cartridges I still regularly find myself plugging into my dusty old console, although you could always download it through your Wii's virtual console to save yourself a trek up to the loft. The platforming action contained within the game is phenomenally good and I'd say it even stands up to those that are out on the market today.
The music that featured in most Nintendo games of this era was amongst the best our ears have ever been treated to in my opinion and this instalment of the Super Mario series is no exception, it's soundtrack captures the light hearted nature of the series that makes it so accessible, yet it also manages to wonderfully complement it's darker moments.Click here to read more!
Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare took my breath away, Modern Warfare 2 built on that and I was quite impressed with how most of its action sequences rivalled those featured in Hollywood blockbusters, then I treated myself to Modern Warfare 3 at Christmas and was spectacularly underwhelmed by its repetitive nature. Once I'd mindlessly plodded through the single player and checked out the multiplayer I was about ready to call it a day, that is until my brother wandered into my room attracted by the sound of gunfire and asked if I'd checked out the Survival mode yet. I had not. Quickly I scrolled through the menus into the co-op section and within minutes we were both sat side by side whilst being deployed into a calm urban setting. This was the quiet before the storm!
Click here to read more...
The Darkness is an incredibly underrated game, but if you've played it chances are that you've fallen in love with it for a plethora of reasons ranging from generally terrorising your enemies from the shadows, blasting them across the environment with a pair of elaborate pistols, unleashing a set of supernatural powers to rip anybody in your way to shreds, and lastly sending out some ghoulish little creatures to cause a bit of chaos!Click here to read more...
This was the very last thing that I checked out in Nintendo's section of the Expo and I welcomed the quick break that getting to grips with the DS brought with it!
The demo had three sections; the story mode, a flying mode, and a ship fishing mode.Click here to read more...
I think at some point in your childhood, or later life, you'll inevitably come across Magic The Gathering, whether it's the cards or the new games that are cropping up. As a result I thought I'd sit down at the Q&A for the sequel of Duels Of The Planeswalkers, in order to gather a few facts for all you Magic fans out there!
Duels Of The Planeswalkers 2012's packed full of content, most of which has been included from fan feedback based on the source material as well as the original game. In essence the developers wanted to provide you with the experience of playing paper magic only on a console or a desktop and it's a good way of getting back into the game if you abandoned it years ago.Basically, you'll be able to have a table play experience without having to venture out of your own living room.Click here to read more...
Taking a look at the successor to Rez was another exciting prospect for me, mainly because my Kinect sensor bar's had about two brief uses and since Christmas it's been sitting at the foot of my flatscreen gathering dust, so I'm hoping that Child Of Eden'll break that trend and let me turn my body into a controller once more without getting bored after testing out the initial gimmick. Also, I got a little bit more interested when we were told this game's been in the works for about 10 years, after all if that much time and effort's gone into surely it's got to be fairly good.
For those of you who have no idea what this one's about, you'll be protecting Project Lumi from a virus attack using a couple of weapons that are literally at your finger tips.Click here to see what Tom thought of Child Of Eden!
The Q&A for Arcana Heart 3 seemed to be a calm affair, but then again appearances can be deceiving! Things quickly descended into chaos as the panel began to throw T-Shirts, posters, and even limited edition copies of Blazblue Continuum Shift into the crowd. People reverted back to their primal instincts to try and grab a freebie or two and it became hard not to believe that some cosplayers had truly become the animal characters they were portraying. Once it came round to talking about the game though, a hush quickly fell across the audience.
To kick things off, we were told that the reason behind the reintroduction of the series outside of Japan, was down to the success of the Blazblue and Guilty Gears series, which apparently have been going down a storm in the western world. Also, a petition for the game's release was signed and presented to the developers, so it seemed like a good idea to get it into the hands of its loyal fans.Click here to see what to expect from Arcana Heart 3!
After standing around watching people taking part in Wii Play Motion all weekend, I thought 'What the hell, that looks like fun, I'll give it a go!'. As I stepped up and tightened up the Wii-mote's wrist strap, I asked a Nintendo rep what the difference between this and the standard Wii Play was. He quickly told me that the mini-games features in the new game take advantage of Wii Motion Plus, at which point I stared down at the controller in my hand because there wasn't a Wii Motion Plus adaptor in sight. Seeing my confusion, the rep let me know that these were brand new Wii-motes, which'll be released with the game in either blue or red (although I'm assuming other colours will be released later seeing as the one I was using was black) and have Wii Motion Plus built into them, so no longer will you need the bulky Wii Motion Plus adaptor. However, if you don't fancy shelling out for the new controller you'll be fine using any Wii-motes and adaptors you've already bought. After this little interlude, I sailed into the game.
There are twelve mini-games in total, six of which I managed to get through. The selection menu consist of 12 circles containing the various mini-games, which all fan out around a central view screen and as you move your cursor over the individual games a quick trailer about them pops up on the view screen.Click here to find out about some of the mini-games featured in Wii Play Motion
I think it goes without saying that the Q&A for Super Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition was going to draw a crowd, although I've got to admit it was bigger than I thought it was going to be, for a few brief moments I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to sit down, which would have meant that any chance I had of comfortably scribbling down notes would have been out of the window. Thankfully though, I squeezed myself onto a chair and started writing down a load of info to share with you all!
There are several new characters in Super Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition, which mean that the character count has been raised to a total of 39 and they'll all be available to play with right from the start. Most of the new characters were added in based on fan feedback from around the world, seeing as Capcom didn't want to disappoint their fans. Chances are you'll know that Evil Ryu's present on the new roster, and he's brought a couple of new moves with him such as his axe kick and a teleport, plus if you decide to play with him you'll be treated to the glowing energy effect that surrounds his body.Click here for the rest of Tom's preview...
As I've said before in my Ocarina Of Time 3D coverage, Warner Games biggest show piece was a Batman statue alongside a flatscreen that was playing a range of Arkham City trailers. However, once you'd worked out they weren't showing anything new, your attention fell on the only other thing in their section of the Expo, which was a PS3 complete with The Green Lantern: Rise Of The Manhunters. I'm sure you can guess my initial thought, "Oh no, another movie tie-in game!". Well yes and no, it's certainly coming out to coincide with the movie's release, but the plot has been taken from the comics rather than the film. Another good bit of intel that the rep guiding me through the game parted with, was that Ryan Reynolds has indeed provided the voice of Hal Jordan.
The game presents itself in a similar fashion to Star Wars: Jedi Power Battles, and it's a bit of a hack and slash title rather than being something that requires you to think carefully about your moves. I found that things quickly descended into button bashing chaos when I was faced with a large group of enemies.Click here for some more Green Lantern info!
For me, getting to take a look at the new instalment of the Deus Ex series, was probably the most exciting part of the whole weekend! Was I disappointed? Absolutely not, in fact I'm even more excited than I was before about the release of Human Revolution. So, heading the panel on the Gamespot UK stage was one of the game's writers, James Swallow, and he had a pretty decent sized crowd to preach to!
First things first, Human Revolution's a prequel to the original game taking place in the year 2027, so the writers had to be extremely careful not to cause any discrepancies with the series' timeline that could impact on the story lines of the previous games. You take on the role of Adam Jensen, a mild mannered security guard, who through no fault of his own becomes horrifically injured and has to receive mechanical augmentations to his body in order to survive.Click here to read the rest of Tom's preview...
After circling the Expo floor a couple of times, curiosity ,and my love of horror, got the better of me and I had to check out the F.E.A.R. 3 booth. Walking up to a console I scrolled through the menu and headed for the single player. Almost immediately one of the reps jumped over to where I was standing and said "Hold on there, we're only showing the multiplayer this weekend!" When I asked why I couldn't have a quick glimpse of the single player I was told it was because the disc had the up to date multiplayer, but a three month old version of the single player. Needless to say I wasn't impressed, seeing as I wasn't really bothered about the multiplayer. Luckily though I persuaded myself to stay and give it a go, which turned out to be a good idea.
The multiplayer mode we got to run around in was "Soul King", and the closest thing I could compare it to is skulls in Halo. Also the level we'd been placed in appeared to be some sort of cargo ship, a bit like the setting of the first mission of Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. It took a few moments to work out what was going on, but the necrotic arms that floated out in front of me, told me all I needed to know about my character; I was a "Spectre". These vile creatures are capable of firing what look like dripping skulls at the opposing players and if you get close enough you can posses a warm body, at which point you'll gain access to some more conventional weaponry. Another good thing about the spectres is that they can sense human bodies through walls, so you can plan a stealth approach on another player in order to do a bit of covert body snatching.Click here for more F.E.A.R. 3 talk!
Red Faction Armageddon was the first game Q&A that i sat down for at the MCM Expo, and I also got the chance to play the game later in the day. Anyway, I took my seat at the Gamespot UK stage, and waited a while until a couple of Gamespot reps came to the front along with one of the game's senior designers, David Abzug, at which point things began.
The first thing that we were told was that this instalment of the series is a third person action game and it's unique selling point is destruction, as David Abzug pointed out:
Anything man-made is destructible.
He also said that this time around the developers were "Big on the boom!". In response to this somebody in the crowd commented that it sounded a bit like Angry Birds, to which Mr. Abzug responded with the following:
Picture Angry Birds with five storey buildings and giant plasma cannons!
This seems like a good point to go over the things that you'll be using to cause widespread destruction in the game; the weapons, the look of most of which were inspired by the alien weapons featured in District 9.Hit the jump to see how Red Faction Armageddon is coming along...
It's always a good thing when you ask a Nintendo rep, what they're showing off at an event, and they point to an attractive girl before saying "You see that girl over there, well strapped to her belt is a 3DS equipped with Resident Evil!". I immediately made my way over to said girl and asked for a quick go on the game, well what would you have done!
If you've played Resident Evil 5, you'll be familiar with the African Village level, which had been recreated for the part of Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D that i was playing and it did look more or less the same. Stepping into Chris Redfield's shoes, I quickly looked over the environment, which allowed me to familiarise myself with the controls and demonstrated just how responsive the 3DS' thumb stick actually is. I also managed to check out the touch screen, which showed a map of level, and allowed me to select items, as well as quickly changing between weapons. Unfortunately, this was all put on hold when I heard the familiar groans of a couple of Majini!
The first two villagers slowly stumbled around a shack, which easily allowed me to line the first one up in my pistol's sights and pump him full of lead, before switching to the shotgun and disposing of his friend with a single loud blast. What I managed to gather from this is that there's a decent amount of blood and gore present in the game, which is something that we've come to expect from the Resident Evil series. Also, if you need to get out of tight situation, you can perform a quick 180 degree turn and scarper away, although I never really needed to do this.
Sadly, there only ever seemed to be one or two enemies on screen at a time, which meant that I never had any sense of being in danger and it made the combat ridiculously easy, especially when I was sporting my shotgun. As a result it plays like any other shooter, rather than stirring up a bit of panic in you. Another thing that I disliked was having to actively search for enemies, there were times when I stood still for fairly long periods of time without seeing any signs of an infected person, and I'd have to go searching for them to relieve my boredom!
One final thing that I noticed is that whilst Chris looks extremely good, the visuals used to bring his enemies and indeed the surroundings to life were very drab in comparison, which was a bit disappointing.
All in all, it seems to me that Resident Evil The Mercenaries 3D would be enjoyable to carry around with you for a quick session on commutes into work, or indeed to relieve a bit of stress once you've left the office for the day, after all from what I saw it's a bit of a mindless shooter. However, I can see it becoming tedious relatively quickly and at this stage I'd be pretty disappointed if I had to pay full price for it!
Resident Evil The Mercenaries 3D will be available to buy on 1st July.Click here to read the rest of Tom's preview...
Mortal Kombat's been out for a couple of weeks now and I have to say I'm LOVING it! Whilst sitting back on the sofa and pummelling my opponents into the ground in order to get to a delightful fatality, I started t0 think about my favourite characters in the series, the ones who I've also gotten a thrill out of taking into the ring since the very first instalment of the series. The two who stand out the most for me are Scorpion and Sub-Zero, sure Liu Kang and Johnny Cage can be fun in small doses, but I've always revelled in besting an opponent with the cool blue ninja and the resurrected yellow clad warrior. Also, lets not forget that both are wrapped up in a rather heavy storyline with one another.
I'll get things rolling by casting my gaze over my time with Sub-Zero. He's the first character in any fighting game that I bothered to learn all the moves for, mainly because I loved tormenting my friends as a kid by freezing them in place, laughing, and then knocking away a fair chunk of their health with a perfectly timed uppercut. To be honest though all of his moves are cool (pardon the pun), whether you're quickly sliding into your enemy's side, freezing the ground beneath their feet, or creating an ice clone to catch an unsuspecting opponent off guard, saving your skin for a few seconds.Click here to read the rest of Tom's MK love-in...
Conker's Bad Fur Day is packed full of meaty goodness from a constant barrage of movie references, hilarious toilet humour, tricky tasks, and awesome characters. When you're not cruising around the environments looking for Berri, jumping on big breasted sunflowers, avoiding Scouse dung beetles, or fuelling yourself so full of alcohol that you have to piss on everything in sight, it's more than likely that you'll be dealing with one of the numerous villains who stands in Conker's way, and there's one who's literally the s@*t!
When it comes to scenarios for a boss battle, pretty much everything about this one is set to 11 in the ridiculous department! First of all, it's set inside poo mountain, an area that no character wants to be trawling around in, let alone Conker, who has to whip out a gas mask to avoid the smell.
Once you've gained access, an unfortunate piece of corn falls into a pool of raw sewage and if that wasn't enough of a nightmare an homage to Jaws ensues, whereby he's dragged around before disappearing below the surface of the liquid. He then rises up in the clutches of an infamous villain, who seals his fate by inserting the corn kernel into his mouth, thus completing his ghastly golden grin, before going on to win our affection with some superb singing. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Great Mighty Poo, or Sloprano to his friends!
His introduction leaves you with your mouth agape, "Can they really put something like this into a video game?", but once he clears his throat and begins singing, you're rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter. When it comes to comedy perfection in a video game his lyrics certainly come close to hitting that target.
Defeating him's no mean feat either, you have to navigate across some pretty treacherous terrain, whilst avoiding the poo balls he's hurling at you, before catching him in a stationary position whilst he's blasting out a loud note or two at you; can you imagine the smell Conker had to put up with! Then you've got a brief period of time to launch a carefully aimed toilet roll into his mouth, before his next tuneful masterpiece. Eventually though, he hits a high note that shatters a glass screen within his lair, revealing a carelessly placed toilet chain! Well you know what comes next; run, jump, flush, and down he does with a quick nod to the Wicked Witch Of The West!
It's definitely one of the more memorable encounters that I've had in a video game and I'm not sure that we'll come up against a boss consisting of excrement and indigestible corn pieces, who's happy to sacrifice another sentient being for his own aesthetic beauty despite having a vile visage, and can carry a tune with enough style and comedy precision that he wins the hearts of an entire generation of gamers ever again, unless of course Conker's Bad Fur Day 2 comes up on the cards at somepoint in the future (oh please let this come true!). And on that note, I'll leave you with a video of the dastardly villain doing what he does best, because lets face it he'll demonstrate things a hell of a lot better than I could ever write them. Enjoy!