Videogaming is one of the most versatile and thought-provoking forms of entertainment out there. They teach us about ourselves, they enrich our lives, they let us bond with unforgettable new friends and push the boundaries of what it really means to interact with a work of art. But, let's not kid ourselves, usually we play games because they're barnstormingly fun and properly satisfying to the point of afterglow.
So, to this end, we've prepared a list of some of the most satisfying moments in videogame history. There's no rhyme or reason here, just ten of our most exquisitely gratifying gaming experiences that leave us smugly grinning at our tellies and handhelds like an utter loon. Naturally we want to hear from you in the comments, and perhaps create a brand new democratic list in the discussion thread!
Honourable mentions: Beating Shao Khan, dual-wielding anything (especially RCP-90s), getting a massive cascade in Puzzle Quest, beating Chrono Trigger, defeating Gannondorf, Wii Sports hole-in-one, scoring an impossible goal in FIFA, LOOTSPLOSIONS, "Monster Kill... kill... kill...kill!", annihilating the Four Kings, achievement unlocked, crushing your best lap/ghost time, surviving Ninja Gaiden
We've all done it, even though we all know better. When staring death in the face, we should go to ground or use our equipment, but in the heat of the moment it's all too easy to clench the triggers and throw a grenade god knows where in the vain hope that we take someone with us.
It's stupid, except that sometimes it works. And it feels just... so great.
By far the most satisfying 'post-mortem Hail Mary' comes courtesy of the Halo series, when you manage to stick a plasma grenade to a fully-manned Warthog the split-second before it runs you over. Dying has never felt so awesome.Click here to read more...
With two videogame tracks into the Classic FM Hall of Fame, this week's PWNCAST tackles the subject of music in games, we talk about a few of our favourite pieces and composers, about how music can make a good game great, and what the future holds for the music genre, along with our usual smattering of comment, whimsy, and attempts at singing.
PWNCAST | Season 1: Episode 10, Recorded: April 12th, 2012
Some of the things that get covered this week:
...and much, much more.
Parental Advisory: We've tried to keep it as conversational and informal as possible, and you should be warned that there may be quite a few instances of strong language.
Click below to play the file, or right click on the banner at the top, and select 'Save Link As' to download the file onto your hard drive.
The Guitar Hero franchise is sadly missed after Activision's shock franchise cull... but in an extraordinarily candid interview, controversial CEO Bobby Kotick has admitted that they simply stopped listening to consumers during the launch of DJ Hero. More interestingly, an unnamed studio is exploring new technology and prototypes for the series revival.Click here to read more...
You can't keep a good franchise down - and Activision has spoken out to confirm that they haven't culled Guitar Hero indefinitely. Rather, they've just put it on hiatus for a while until the market picks up (and, we suspect, music licensing prices decrease). Not only that, but they've recanted on their earlier statement that True Crime: Hong Kong wasn't "good enough" - and that it would have scored in the mid-eighties. Apparently it just didn't fit into their "monster" franchise plan. Full details below.Click here for the full story >>
It's a dark day for Activision... as well as the last few dedicated fans who still cling to their plastic guitars. During their annual financial statement, Activision CEO Bobby Kotick has confirmed that the Guitar Hero, DJ Hero and True Crime: Hong Kong franchises have been completely axed (along with their studios) in order to concentrate on the Call Of Duty franchise.
Due to continued declines in the music genre, the company will disband Activision Publishing’s Guitar Hero business unit and discontinue development on its Guitar Hero game for 2011. The company also will stop development on True Crime: Hong Kong™. These decisions are based on the desire to focus on the greatest opportunities that the company currently has to create the world’s best interactive entertainment experiences. - Activision's Bobby Kotick
With Rock Band's future all but destroyed by Harmonix's departure from the Viacom family, this practically marks the death of the music game as we know it... along with around 5000 job losses. See you at the crossroads, Guitar Heroes.
Perhaps the most bizarre decision to come out of this recent press release is the canning of True Crime: Hong Kong. My sources (and our previews) tell me that the project was nearing completion- but Activision COO Eric Hirshberg apparently feels that the franchise is not "good enough" to compete in the open world genre. Time to cancel your preorders, folks.
There also won't be any Tony Hawk titles in 2011, though it's unclear whether the franchise has been ditched altogether.
Like a phoenix rising from the flames, Activision also confirmed that their year-long Beachhead Project has blossomed into a fully-fledged studio. Their remit and objectives are still incredibly vague, but Activision CFO Thomas Tippl suggests that the outfit is currently engaged in creating a new online venture set in the... you guessed it... Call Of Duty universe.
Beachhead will create the best-in-class online community, exclusive content, and a suite of services to supercharge the online gaming experience like never before.
We'll hear more in the "near future," but current speculation suggests that they may be hard at work developing an online dashboard that brings together the Call Of Duty games (much like a mix between Halo Waypoint and Battle.net). We'll keep you posted.
UPDATE: THIS IS HAPPENING.
French fansite Halo Destiny have reportedly snagged some details of a new DLC map pack for Halo Reach. Entitled the Defiant pack, it may offer three new levels: "Condemned," "Unearthed" and "Highlands." Condemned is rumoured to take place on a Covenant Frigate, while the Highlands map apparently takes its cues from High Ground (prominently featuring a covenant cruiser that's in the process of glassing the planet). The original details and pictures have been pulled by Microsoft's request... though a very authentic Flickr account still exists.
Microsoft has yet to officially comment on the matter- but the speed with which they attempted to shut the rumour down is extremely suggestive. For now, file it under watch this space. [Halo Destiny via Joystiq]
We haven't forgotten about the ongoing legal battle between Sony and a cabal of hackers who managed to crack the PS3's tough security. The biggest obstacle facing the software giant is finding out exactly who these individuals are behind their online aliases- and requested Subpoenas from Google, Paypal, Twitter and Youtube in an effort to discover names and home addresses.
Unfortunately for Sony, US District Judge Susan Illston believes that their request represents a gross breach of online privacy and legally denied access to their accounts.
To be honest, this is probably a sound precedent. The idea of billion-dollar companies being able to legally rifle through our PayPal details is chilling to say the least. For Sony, however, it will unfortunately be back to good old fashioned cyber-sleuthing. [PSX-SCENE]
Anyone who's even absently been keeping an eye on the state of things will probably have found the news that Activision have shelved their Guitar Hero franchise for the time being as nothing particularly surprising. Of course, it's not just Guitar Hero, DJ Hero - the latest instalment of which we scored pretty highly - is canned for the moment too, in fact Activision are shutting down their whole music division, with around 500 job cuts expected across divisions as a bit of reshuffling gets done.
Developer Manveer Heir tweeted on Wednesday night, 'Ugh sorry to hear about the Vicarious Visions layoffs today after Guitar Hero canceled [...] Sounds like Freestyle (DJ Hero) got hit too.'
It would seem that one of the most popular, and lucrative (though not so much these days), video game franchises just burnt out.
It's important, before everybody gets all misty-eyed, to note that that this was always on the cards. Guitar Hero had been in something of an unhappy state for some time now, struggling to push boundaries where had previously been a leading light, overtaken perhaps by its own flesh and blood in Harmonix and Rock Band. It was on the rocks, it had already sold out and released a 'Best Of' album. Whereas before it had led the way, World Tour seemed reactionary, the playlist functions and library imports concession to a crowd that had found a new virtual music simulator to love. With the last release, as Rock Band sought to scour new heights with new technology, Guitar Hero stubbornly attempted to go back in time and rediscover its roots.
But it had gone too far, and an overdose was never far away.Click here to read the rest of Matt's eulogy...
One of my favourite summer memories from the last decade is of spending hour upon hour at the house of our news editor, doing kick jumps off of the sofa, powersliding around on the floor and headbanging until I gave myself a massive crick in the neck. Taken out of context, such actions might seem a little odd, even verging on exuberant vandalism, but seen with a plastic guitar placed firmly within my hands, suddenly these freeze-framed memories take on a new meaning.
In short, Guitar Hero gave me one of the best summers of my life.
It was such a simple idea in retrospect - combining the awesome psychitude of rock and metal with an interface that didn't require years of practice, but still made you feel like a rock god. Living rooms were transformed into arena stages, bedrooms spawned open mic nights. Sure, there'd been music games before, god only knows how many karaoke titles and cult oddities had gone parading past, but suddenly they were cool.
Platforms: PS3 (reviewed) | X360
For those about to rock, we suggest you find a comfy chair.
The first thing to hit about this latest sequel / revamp of the classic living room rocker is the multi-MB download that greets you. Followed by, if memory serves, another three odds and sods that come through – it’s not that I lost count, more that I was using the time to make several cups of tea and have a biscuit. Mind you, I could have made my own biscuits in the 75 minutes or so this all took.
I know it all adds to the game experience in the end, but when you’re confronted with a new rock “axe” and the latest Guitar Hero game, call me a big kid but, well, I want to play. Not terribly well, not terribly quickly, not very often above “medium” level but play nonetheless.
So, after the necessary downloads were sorted and the new axe was linked up – and, yes, alright, after I’d pulled a few Rock God poses in the mirror while wearing it – it’s into the game. And, despite the addition of a “Quest” story mode – with narration from Gene Simmons – it’s pretty much business as usual, which is either a very good thing if you’re in the “if it ain’t broke...” camp or a very bad thing if you expect a little more innovation for your hard earned cash.
The quest mode is pretty much based around the normal Guitar Hero / Rock Band activities. After laying through certain songs and gathering enough stars, your chosen player is transformed into a “Warrior of Rock” and given their mission to save, er, rock. This is given a little back story in an earlier cut scene but, frankly, it doesn’t really matter. It’s a case of pick up guitar, thrash the hell out of it, wonder how your fingers moved that quickly – if they don’t use this game for hand surgery rehabilitation I’d be very surprised – and proceed through more challenges. And then, when you’ve completed it and unlocked the rest of the game – almost as long again and with even tougher bits of thrash metal etc to master – you can go back and proceed through those challenges.
When you're heading out the door to pop round a friend's house for a bit of Guitar Hero action, the last thing you want to find is that the weather's turned nasty on you, and you need to quickly scrabble around in search of something to protect your expensive music game controllers with. Luckily, Poundland have the solution to this problem, which comes in the form of a branded Guitar Hero guitar case for the tantalising price of £1, but you'll have to check with your local store to make sure they're in stock first.
I can see the appeal of picking up a cheap protective case for my music game peripherals, unfortunately it's also what's got me running for the hills, because I'd be afraid of it falling apart after a few months, or if it's caught in a light drizzle, or a gentle breeze.
Having said that, if it was to disintegrate with little warning prior to the disastrous event, I'd probably shrug and think 'Well, at least I only spent £1 on it', although that thought'd probably be pushed to the back of my mind if one of my music controllers was damaged in the process.
Thanks to whizzkid @ HUKD
There's one thing I've always loved about guitar-based games. It is impossible to play them without lifting the head of the guitar above your left shoulder, holding the body somewhere around groin height and pulling "that" face. You know the one: eyes shut, teeth exposed, "The Air Guitar Rictus of Pain."
Bad news. That could be a thing of the past when Guitar Hero - Warriors of Rock hits the shelves. Not because it's a substantially different game, oh no. More because it's phenomenally bloody difficult.
Well, perhaps I'm exaggerating for comedic effect. But trust me, when you get to the exclusive Megadeath track composed especially to challenge the most dexterous of Guitar Hero fans, the rictus of pain will not be imaginary.
At the recent Activision preview event, we got a sneak peak of Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock - and the new stripped down guitar controller - and watched their professional team of "musicians" attack a couple of rock classics to demonstrate the flexibility of the game, the efficient drop-in / drop-out mode of Party Play. With a little Sabbath and some Twisted Sister - "We're not gonna take iiiiiit" - the band were on form. Then Megadeath kicked in, an apparently endless snake of notes from green to orange and back again. Notes - many notes - were dropped. Audience members - many clearly rock fans - looked nervous: I predict a LOT of finger exercises between now and the game's release later this year. Seriously, it didn't look like a Guitar Hero track. It looked like someone had scattered a very big bag of M&Ms across the screen.
Get ready to pick up your guitars, grab your drumsticks, and wail into your microphones, provided you've already got the multicoloured controllers, as you rock and roll your way through the Guitar Hero series' first take on a band experience.
You can purchase a copy of the game from Powerplay Direct for £13.49, which is almost £2.50 cheaper than the next best price of £15.95 from DVD.co.uk.
The best thing about this game is getting together with a group of friends, cramming everyone plus all the equipment into your living room, and jamming to a great range of songs. The first time I played it was with my housemates and without realising we ended up glued to the screen from about 8 in the evening to 3 o'clock in the morning! That's not to say the single player isn't fun as well, it provides you with a great challenge especially once you've progressed onto expert difficulty, which in the past has caused me to walk away with blisters on my fingers from frantically hammering the buttons on the neck of the guitar.
You can choose from a range of characters that have popped up in previous instalments, however the create-a-character feature allows you to construct either a pretty good replica of yourself or a crazy on-stage alter-ego.
Unfortunately, the online song list is pretty pathetic in comparison to Rock Band, which means that once you've worked your way through the single player and unlocked all the tracks, things start to become a little bit repetitive.
Despite its flaws, World Tour is still a brilliant game that contains one of the most enjoyable multiplayer experiences on the market.
Game companies are nothing if not predictable. Once they've got a winning formula, you can expect to see it milked and imitated, usually until it's a shadow of its former self.
So far, while the Rock Band / Guitar Hero genres have certainly been milked, they show no sign of wasting away. Indeed, they seem to be getting better and better (and next week I can tell you a lot more about Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock and trust me, you want to know).
One of the more interesting innovations has been the "single act" title and, after the success – and all round excellent execution – of Beatles Rock Band, it was inevitable Harmonix would find another popular beat combo who'd willingly have their back catalogue converted to console gaming.
The list of contenders was / is huge. You need, what, a fan base, at least one guitar in the band and a decent number of albums under your belt? SO you've got Queen. Oasis. The Rolling Stones. U2. Kiss. An almost infinite number of 70s and 80s metal acts. Excuse while I salivate - and worry about my fingers - for Led Zeppelin Rock Band. Perhaps more fitting for a gamer of my, ahem, maturity would be the two chord delights of Status Quo... Ho ho.
And so step forward... Green Day? Sorry? Green Day? Really?
Actually, when you think about it in more detail, Green Day is a very sensible choice. The Californian sort-of-punks have eight studio albums under the belts and a career that's spanned a remarkable 20 years (yeah, where DID it go?).
Some good deals have cropped up these last few months featuring the DS version of Guitar Hero on Tour. Play.com were selling copies along with the guitar grip peripheral for £6.99 around the beginning of March. However their price has now shot back up to around £10 making ASDA’s £5 deal by far the best offer, and one which undercuts the competition by a fairly substantial £4.93.
The only thing that’s unclear from the product description is whether or not this deal actually includes the guitar grip. It says ‘utilizing a revolutionary guitar grip’ and ‘rock out with the revolutionary guitar grip’ which leads you to assume it’s included, but they aren’t exactly specific (which is slightly rubbish).
As far as the reviews go however, Guitar Hero on Tour has had a mixed bag. IGN appeared to absolutely love the whole system (awarding it a 9.0) and described how the guitar grip peripheral really ‘enhanced the experience’. Most of all they seemed relieved that the developers (Vicarious Visions) didn’t just opt for some sloppy, half arsed adaptation, and actually went out their way to produce something credible. Gamespot on the other hand felt the opposite. They described the grip as cumbersome, awkward and uncomfortable and reckoned that the music lacked fidelity and the songs were too few in number.
It’s true that the guitar grip does take a bit of getting used, but even so, pulling off tricky combos is still satisfying even in the absence of a plastic guitar. No doubt some will find the whole experience flawed, but essentially, all the Guitar Hero franchise offers you is a bit of fun interaction while you listen to the tunes you love. And in this sense Guitar Hero: On Tour certainly succeeds, and as long as you like track list, you’ll undoubtedly enjoy the gameplay.
Thanks to Andi Keane from Hotukdeals.
Yesterday’s deal on Guitar Hero 5 saw copies of the standalone game falling to £14.93 at The Hut, but for those who are looking to go the whole hog and invest in the GH5: Guitar Bundle, it’s currently down to £49.99 on HMV. Next cheapest deal comes in at around £55 from Lovefilm Shop.
The bundle deal gives you everything you need to indulge your Rockstar fantasies. You get the full Guitar Hero 5 game and the plastic guitar controller, which makes this a great deal for anyone new to the Guitar Hero series, or anyone looking to step things up a notch with the fifth edition and get an additional guitar controller. Guitar Hero 5 does allow players to have the whole band experience (bass, drums, guitar, and vocals) but thankfully you can use any combination you choose – including just four guitars – which is nice if you don’t fancy being stuck on bass or drums.
Overall, Guitar Hero 5 offers a much more accessible and streamlined gameplay experience. The game uses a juke box-type-set-list which is easy to navigate, and Activison have decided to drop all of the storyline nonsense and money bonuses, and now players can drop in out of the game as they choose, add more players and change difficulty without having to keep restarting. Essentially Guitar Hero 5 cuts things down, and focuses on what’s really important for fans of the series: pure gameplay.
Thanks to Steve81 from Hotukdeals. a
Guitar Hero 5 ‘Solus’ has now fallen to £14.93 at The Hut in a deal which undercuts the next best price by just under £3. So if you’ve been holding out for a good deal on GH5, and stumbling back from the pub to play Guitar Hero 3 classics like ‘Paint it Black’, ‘Knights of Cydonia’ or ‘Even Flow’, simply will not do anymore, this is definitely worth the investment.
Of course, with plastic guitars being a permanent feature in so many living rooms, and Guitar Hero multiplayer having practically taken over the seaside arcades, there can’t be a single person who’s not heard of it. Now up the fifth iteration of the series, Activison are certainly keeping up the momentum, and despite their attempts to incorporate turntablism into the franchise with DJ Hero, it seems that the electric guitar is still what it’s all about. Guitar Hero 5 is the best edition to date, and although the core gameplay principle still remains more or less the same, Activison have made several changes.
With a juke box-type-set-list appearing as soon as you switch it, GH5’s menu system is more streamlined compared to its predecessors, and it’s easier to just get straight into the game and navigate the menu. Activison have also decided to drop all of the storyline nonsense and money bonuses, and now players can drop in out of the game as they choose, add more players and change difficulty without having to keep restarting. The game allows players to have the whole band experience (bass, drums, guitar, and vocals) but also offers any combination they choose – including four guitars if you happen to have four massive egos who all refuse to jump on the drums or bass.
Thanks to Millarcat from Hotukdeals.
The race to motion control is well and truly on, folks... except that Nintendo arrived at the finish line before Microsoft and Sony even started. Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime has been downplaying both the Natal and Playstation Move as simple copycats that he'd be "embarrassed" to be a working on.
"I think a hallmark of Nintendo is that we are constantly trying to innovate," he said. "I think we would have been embarrassed to do what our competitors are currently doing."- Kotaku Interview
“If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then I’m blushing I’m so flattered. I think the key question is, how will they respond when we continue to innovate if this is their best effort?”- IGN Interview
Tough talk with more than a little truth behind it, Reggie- but do you know what else would be embarrassing? Creating a brand new motion control system years before your competitors and letting it become a fetid mass of shovelware that lacks any real innovation. That'd be embarrassing.
We've recently sent an open letter to MS and Sony to explain what, as gamers, we want to see from their respective Mo-Con systems. Why not check it out?
Mo-Con may be all the rage at the moment, but Valve co-founder and legendary developer Gabe Newell is looking forward to the next stage in gaming : biometrics. During his Pioneer Award acceptance speech at GDC, Newell stated...
“Given that we have all these proxies inside of our games, that measure player state, we think that actually being able to measure small things like pupil dilation, heart rate – those are the techniques that are going to give our games enormous impact in the future.”
We've got a lot of love for Valve here at Dealspwn-if anyone can develop biometry software support, it's them. After all, a Left-4-Dead AI director that knows how stressed and scared you are would be amazing. Likewise, GLaDOS would be ten times more menacing if she could literally smell your fear. The DS has already made strides into heart rate monitoring in a number of fitness-related titles... so fully-featured biometric peripherals may not be as far off as you might think.
It's also worth mentioning that Gabe dedicated the Pioneer Award to the entire Valve studio rather than hog the limelight. Class act. [via develop]
In a controversial leaked video, Kiss frontman and tongue-waggling bass virtuoso Gene Simmons has stated that he will be the "voice of Guitar Hero 6". Whilst this hasn't yet been officially confirmed, I personally hope it's true- Kiss have the discography and charisma to pull off their own GH title by themselves! Since Activision has cut down on their Guitar Hero SKUs since flagging 2009 sales, it's likely that they'll be pooling their licenced talent for a single star-studded release.
However, this isn't Simmons' first foray into the heady world of video game licensing... hopefully it'll be more successful than Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child!
Well, that's it for this weekend. See you Monday!
Activision, being the money grabbing fiends that they are, have successfully turned the music game genre into a lucrative cash-cow of endless rehashes and expensive peripherals. The premise is simple: purchase a pricey, fake, plastic guitar and mash a series of coloured buttons in time to a soundtrack made up of one part rock classics and four parts obscurity. Guitar Hero World Tour was the moment when Activision and Red Octane finally caught up with prodigal sons Harmonix, and actually introduced full band support.
The pricey nature of this hardware-dependent genre makes this particular deal all the more mouthwatering, offering you the PS3 version of the game along with probably the best wireless guitar peripheral avilable on the market at the moment, and all for just £29.99 from HMV. This bundle isn't in stock in a huge number of places, with most vendors that are still selling listing the product up around the £50 mark. You can pick up a solus version for about £10-15 these days, but that still means with this deal your getting the guitar for just a tenner!
World Tour is essentially Guitar Hero 3 with knobs on, only with a soundtrack that's about half as good. To be honest, though, these games will always encounter a certain level of subjectivity. It's encouraging that Activision and Red Octane have now followed Harmonix's example of enabling cross-game assimilation with Guitar Hero 5, but there's no importing with this title.
The band support is strong, though unlike Rock Band you still kind of feel like an ensemble of individuals rather than a musical team, and the engine itself is a wonderful combination of plentiful notes and a fairly forgiving timing system. The new slide notes are a good idea, even if the touchpad on the new guitar pales in comparison to simply using the buttons themselves.
All in all, this is a fun little game, with an incredibly study and well-made peripheral that frankly kicks Rock Band's guitar square in the nuts. But check out the soundtrack before you purchase.
Thanks to williamj1 at HUKD
The DS version of Guitar Hero with its guitar grip might not let you indulge your Rock God fantasies in the same way as its console counterpart, but it’s still a neat little package. And for just £6.99 on Play.com you can now get hold of Guitar Hero: On Tour complete with the guitar grip – although, should you sign to the PESFan website and use the voucher code, you can get an extra £1 off which brings the price down to £5.99. This is not a bad deal considering the next best price comes in at £7.93 from The Hut.
The reviews for Vicarious Visions’ attempt to adapt the Guitar Hero franchise onto the DS have been mixed. IGN for example gave the system a glowing review (9.0), and praised VV for not just cashing in on the Guitar Hero brand, and for actually producing a credible addition to the series. They described the DS Guitar grip as a great peripheral which ‘enhances the experience’. Gamespot on the other hand seemed to loath the entire system, and described the grip as cumbersome and uncomfortable, and felt the tracks lacked fidelity, and were too few in number.
It’s true that the Guitar Grip does take a bit of getting used, but even so, pulling off tricky combos is still satisfying even in the absence of a plastic guitar. No doubt some will find the whole experience flawed, but essentially, all the Guitar Hero franchise really offers you is a bit of fun interaction while you listen to the tunes you love. And in this sense, Guitar Hero: On Tour certainly succeeds, and so long as you like track list, you’ll undoubtedly enjoy the gameplay.
Thanks to Leeds_United_afs and Lucerysmum from Hotukdeals.
There’s been research about the violence, corruption and addiction in games but there’s also been plenty of research into why they can also make you happy. These sharp and tasty bursts of excitement can make a sad person smile, an angry person relax and bring about a feeling of contentment.
In-depth studies on the positive effects of games range from improved visual processing abilities to being better at problem solving and taking careful risks. Before I get into the complexities of why games are such wonderful things that we should play all day and night, allow me to explain why I think they can make you happy.
Take Andy*, he’s a fairly well adjusted man with a good sense of humour, a great job and a nice life. You see him ambling down the street or driving past in his expensive car and you think, “Yeah, he has it all.” Only, he doesn’t. Andy has battled with depression for most of his adult life and it is gaming that’s proved to be his rescue.Click here to read more of the Happy Happy Games article...
According to The Guardian, there WILL be a new Call of Duty in 2010. Head of Activision Mike Griffiths has recently confirmed that yes, we can expect another brilliantly realised, first person military mission.
But which military mission? A return to WWII? Vietnam? The Guardian speculates that both have been done to death, and wonders if the rumours of a Cold War shoot-em-up might be true.
Sorry, a Cold War shoot-em-up? Eight hours of gameplay staring at documents, pushing pens and negotiating political face-offs – and then one brief moment of killing someone with a poisoned umbrella? That sounds like The Onion’s brilliant Modern Warfare 3 parody although it could also explain why Mike isn’t expecting MW2-type sales from this year’s chapter.
Still it did get us thinking - it happens on occasion, even if our brain cells are dying in alleged console-related tragedies – about other highly unlikely game releases...
CoD goes literal in the game we’ve all been waiting for. It’s 1975 and the UK and Iceland are battling over North Atlantic fishing rights. Gasp as the full story of international fishing zones is thrillingly recreated in state-of-the-art, slightly grey graphics. In true CoD fashion, the action moves between several characters. As trawlerman Eric Nettles – Nets to his friends and colleagues – you must negotiate choppy waters and land enough fish to pay your mortgage.
Challenges as Nets include evading slightly angry Icelandic tug captains and opening flasks of tea with cold hands. Then, as the Royal Navy’s Bill “Captain” Haddock you must defend British trawlers from the onslaught of three Icelandic Coast Guard patrols with blank ammunition. Perhaps most thrillingly, you’ll also play Graham “Penpusher” Gray, a clerk in the Department of Fisheries who, armed with just a temperamental Bic, an alarmingly wide tie and an out-of-date English / Icelandic dictionary, must negotiate the reduction of the declared Icelandic fishing zone while flirting mildly with Margaret from accounts. And when you finish all of that, you’ll unlock the bonus game: Nazi Zombie Cod.Click here to see the other irreverent new releases that Neil's uncovered...