Platform: 3DS eShop

Developer: Renegade Kid

Publisher: UTV Ignition

The 3DS is still crying out for a killer dungeon crawler after Heroes Of Ruin fell at the last hurdle... and we genuinely thought that Planet Crashers 3D could be the answer to our prayers. Hailing from veteran handheld developer Renegade Kid (the studio behind Moon and Mutant Mudds), this charming proposition promised to marry universal appeal with lengthy and addictive questing, all wrapped up in jaunty pan-galactic voyage and a colourful art style worthy of Animal Crossing. Better yet, UTV Ignition announced that Planet Crashers 3D was going to release on the 3DS eShop rather than as a full-priced boxed title. I must admit to being rather excited about the whole endeavour ahead of last week's launch.

But perhaps the last-minute shift from high street retail to eShop should have rung alarm bells instead. Depressingly, an exciting planet-hopping premise ends up being wasted on one of the most bare-bones, mechanically flawed and downright ill-conceived RPGs you'll play this year. Each world's charming crust disguises a rotten core of unfulfilling grind and untold misery, riddled by hopelessly-implemented systems that never even aspire to reach the dizzying heights of mediocrity.

I always hate having to write hyperbolic sentences like that, especially when Planet Crashers 3D should have worked.

Originally planned as a full retail release, handheld RPG Planet Crashers 3D will be launched tomorrow on the 3DS eShop, setting players back an attractive £9.00 instead of a boxed RRP. Planet Crashers promises to deliver an entire universe to explore, complete with dozens of characters, a strategic combat system and a cutesy graphical style.

Trailer and features after the break.

Platform:  XBLA

Developer:  Denki

Publisher:  UTV Ignition

I fired up Quarrel this morning for one final game before sitting down to write this review.  The next time I checked the clock three hours had passed and I was about to fall behind on my deadline.  This is a game in which pirates battle ninjas, robots battle soldiers, and aliens battle vikings for territorial control using only the power of the English language.  Conflicts are won and lost at the hands of the elusive anagram, which makes itself known only to the most capable of word-weilding warriors.  It might sound like I'm being obtuse, but Quarrel is absolutely insane; fortunately, it's equally excellent.

Quarrel was announced for Microsoft's Xbox Live Arcade back in 2009.  Since then, it's been stuck in a developmental limbo of sorts, with a whole host of publishers refusing to release on the grounds that "gamers don’t buy word games”.  Denki though stuck to their guns, and we're now finally able to play the iOS hit as it was always intended: with online multiplayer support.

Platforms: PS3 (reviewed) | Xbox 360

Developer: Ignition Tokyo

Publisher: UTV Ignition

There aren't many games that place you in the shoes of a Biblical figure, let alone one whose place in theological history was excised and canned. Nor are there many that have you engaging in Tron-esque motorcycle jaunts across futuristic cityscapes, fending off the robotic henchmen of a Fallen Angel, or hopping over beachballs pushed by cutesy cartoon Nephilim (it's a bit odd that the bastard children of Humans and Angels appear to resemble a cross between a frankfurter and a meerkat), or attempting to send a troubled Grigori back to Heaven by battling his minions while he engages it what can only be described as techno-fuelled interpretive dance.

Suffice it to say, El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron is not your average game.

The actual premise is actually fairly high concept and straightforward: you play Enoch, a man who had his own eponymous Apocryphal text, who is sent by God to round up seven Fallen Angels, purify them through combat and return them to Heaven where a certain amount of justice might be served, in the hope of preventing God from unleashing a massive flood. Find Apostates, beat them up, save world. Simples. In order to do this, however, Enoch has to battle his way through the seven trans-dimensional floors of reality of an enormous, foreboding Tower, each of them housing a different Angel and their subjects.