When it comes to showcasing the power and potential of the PS4 and Xbox One, there's only one classic franchise worth bringing screaming into the new console generation.
That's right. Tetris.
Ubisoft have officially confirmed that they're working on a brand new Tetris title for both systems, but we can't help but wonder whether the legendary license will struggle to compete with the biggest AAA franchises without embracing current videogame trends. That's what the focus groups and metrics are telling us. So without further ado, here's a list of cutting-edge features we expect from the upcoming sequel... whether we want them or not...
10: The Gritty Reboot Treatment
The Tetritian Empire took everything from Commander Rick Matcher. After watching his family crushed to death by a Line Piece in the Border Wars of 2347, the grizzled soldier finds himself inducted into a shadowy paramilitary group who know, full well, that the blocks will return one day to threaten mankind and her colonies.
That day has finally come. As the evil Emperor Ell-blok leads the assault on the unsuspecting planet Earth, only Matcher and his mysterious telekinetic skills stand between humanity and utter destruction. But will he ever learn the truth about his father and Project Icarus?
Oh yes. That'll do nicely.
9: Cover Systems
As the blocks rain down, players will naturally want to shield themselves from the ruinous foe, all while matching lines to teleport them into oblivion. As such, we fully expect a context-sensitive cover system that lets us turtle up behind L-Blocks and counter with deadly ripostes.
Regenerating points and blind rotating is a given.
8: Cinematic Cutscenes & QTEs
There's nothing quite as tense as slotting a last-minute line piece into place in an dangerously full board, so what better way to bring this into the next generation than with some obtrusive Quick Time Events? As the camera swoops in to show the gorgeously-rendered blocks to advantage, we'll swivel our sticks and jab our face buttons like crazy, resulting in the perfect cinematic payoff.
Xbox One owners will presumably shake their controller and/or wave their arms using the power of Kinect.
7: A Host Of Celebrity Support Characters
Nolan North will of course voice our protagonist as well as the quirky superhacker-turned-defector Squiggly "Squiggles" Piece, but we can expect some serious Hollywood talent to fill gaps in the roster. Patrick Stewart and Martin Sheen are both in the frame for the infamous Ell-blok, while Brian Blessed and Ron Perlman wait in the wings. Ellen Page will naturally lend her talents to the complex love interest Square, using input from renowned geometry expert Mike Bithell for inspiration.
Snoop Dogg will also definitely show up for no good reason, knowing Ubisoft. Either he, Linkin Park or Eminem will sort out the soundtrack.
6: 32-Player Multiplayer & Clan Support
Considering the backlash surrounding Titanfall's 8v8 limit, it appears that modern gamers will accept nothing less.
5: All The Subtitles
4: A Vast Open World
All games need to be open-world now, and Tetris definitely got the memo. Perhaps with assistance from Ubisoft's in-house development teams working on Watch Dogs and Assassin's Creed, we'll now have a massive dynamic city to explore, packed with exciting new challenges such as, erm, making lines of blocks on a roof. Then an alleyway! The possibilities are endless... especially as Abstergo starts to exploit TetrOS for their own nefarious ends. And just what are the Russians up to?
3: Loads Of DLC And Micro-Transactions
Tetris is far too big to just be one game. With the power of the cloud and the PlayStation Store, we'd expect The Tetris Company to spend their certification downtime time pumping out a new chapter or five, available as part of the Tetris Season Pass (£14.99, a 20% saving) and eventual GOTY Edition.
We'll need boosters and premium blocks, of course, available effortlessly a la carte or in randomised Tetrispacks. The choice is yours!
2: RPG Progression Systems
We all know that games need RPG-style progression and persistent upgrades to keep us hooked. Feeding nicely into the microtransations, Next-Gen Tetris will start players out slow with control of only square blocks, before gradually unlocking new Tetriminos by spending Tetris Points earned through successful matches. As we gain levels, we'll gain access to wild new shapes - whoa, a reverse Line Piece?! - and time manipulation mechanics, alongside plenty of cosmetic customisation features, pets and skins.
1: 1080p 60FPS!
With the power of Sony and Microsoft's consoles behind it, we expect Tetris to be a graphical tour-de-force. Running at an unimpeachable 60FPS at full 1080p resolution, this new visual benchmark will redefine what 'next-gen' truly means. Expect gratuitous particle affects, advanced specular maps, HDR, more bloom than your retinas can handle and full Oculus Rift support in time.
Tetris has never looked so good, though 1080p support will probably be added via day-one patch.
Oh, and just in case you haven't worked it out, I'm taking the piss on a Tuesday afternoon! Thanks for bearing with me, and we'll keep you up to date with Ubisoft's upcoming next-gen Tetris as we hear it.
For now, what do you want from the new Tetris title?