It's Movember, and that can only mean one thing: across the globe men are taking pride in their bristling whiskers, growing them out in the name of solidarity and raising money in the battle against prostate and testicular cancer.
But there are some cracking Mo-Bros to be found in the videogame world too. From dastardly villains to everyman heroes, the moustache can be a valuable addition to one's visage. Just look at Mario. Not enough pixels to have a mouth? A 'tache will sort it out nicely. And he's never looked back.
So this Movember, join us in paying homage to some weird, wacky and truly wonderful moustache merchants.
It's probably the worst moustache in history, a pitiful excuse for a tache, and amongst the other majestic follicular caterpillars on this list, it pales into insignificance. But it is rather distinctive, infamous even, and you do get to wipe it off of the Fuhrer's face in some cracking ways
Do you know why Alakazam and Kadabra are such powerful Pokemon? It's not because of the spoons. It's because of the psychic energy stored within their Fu Manchu facial hair.We're not even sure if it's even made of hair. But it looks good. And wise. Oh so very wise.
Speaking of wise, we can tell that when Peppy says that we should 'Do a barrel roll' we really ought to listen? Why? Because of his exceptional lip warmer. We weren't even aware that rabbits could grow moustaches, but to grow one that's fatter than it is long, well that requires grooming capabilities and a face that few other videogame characters can pull off.
There's no point even singling out an idividual character for this one, but it's clear that Punch-Out!! is by far the most moustachioed game around. It harks back to a classic time when boxers were men and played by Queensbury rules, stripping down to bare chests in a field outside of a stately home and knocking seven bells out of one another whilst wearing bristling trophies of manliness upon their faces.
6. Dr. Wily
Often a moustache is designed to hide the wearer's expression, keep their upper lips warm in winter and provide tea-straining facilities to the occasion require. Not in the good doctor's case. No, this explosion of facial carpet is all about personality. You can tell Wily is a deranged scientist. He probably hides diabolical plans in that badboy.
5. Dr. Eggman/Robotnik
What could be more terrifying to see than your nemesis mocking you by wearing a piece of you under his nose? Tails must lay a brick every time he bumps into Robotnik because it looks as if the balding maniac has ripped off the poor fox's rear end and glued it on his upper lip. There can be no doubt that the Eggman is an utter nutjob, his nostril ticklers tell the whole story,
No Mario does not make this list, how could he when Wario basically rains upon his every parade. Not content with having a pimped out vehicle, being far better at tennis and having his own game manufacturing company to outdo his blue collar nemesis, Wario also apparently made love to an electrical socket in an attempt to secure the upper hand in the facial hair department. That's some astounding dedication.
3. Captain Price
There's a clear message in Call of Duty which is this: when the chips are down, you want a man with a fat moustache at your side. A quintessential English soldier, nearly half of his face is covered in facial hair and none of that is beard. Think about that. How mantastic is that!
2. Andrew Ryan
The man has a two piece moustache. It's the kind of facial hair that exudes gentlemanly decorum, quiet confidence and capability and nods towards an exceptional brandy collection. An erudite and urbane fellow, you can tell that Mr. Ryan is a man of excellent taste, learned opinion, and an absolute bounder, cad and mountebank to boot.
Mayor Haggar is the ultimate man. I mean look at him. The guy's a cross between Arnie and Tom Selleck, and that's an ultimate combination. Yes he's a muscular man-mountain who hugs enemies to death in a vice-like bear clasp. But the most important part is undoubtedly his Magnum P.I. face fuzz. It's just so robust and thick. Like a baby's arm made of hair or an enormous train. It's the face of victory.